the manual of life

just my very own warped view on things. all for the sake of amusement so don't take it too seriously, in the interest of your own mental health :-)

age: 0 to 10

myth: everybody thinks you have it great. you only have to cry and they stick food into your mouth. you don't even have to move. you are the king. school is just play, play and play.

fact: you must be kidding! do you know how annoying it is to have someone continually stick a bottle in your mouth when all you wanted to let them know is your diapers need changing. hey, it's not exactly paradise when that wet smelly thing sticks to your bottom, causing all that itchy and painful rash. baaaaaaah! and i don't understand how they feel school can be fun. they keep us imprisoned in that stinky place with that loud-mouth person standing in front, instructing our every moves. if they wanted us to have fun, then just let me continue lazing infront of the tv. powerpuff girls are coming on again. damn! i have to be stuck here. burrrrrrrp! where is mummy? i want my mummyyyyyyyyy!

age: 11 to 19

myth: everything's exciting. so many new things to learn, to try and to do. you have so much energy, so many friends. all you have to do is study, and when you have done that, you have the rest of the day to play. you don't have a care in the world. unlike adults, who have to bring their work back home and have it forever weigh in their mind whilst they eat, sleep and rest. bills to pay...need i say more?

fact: do you even remember how scary and geeky it feels to be a teenager? always worrying whether people will like you, what you wear, whether people will notice that humongous pimple on your forehead and what your friends are saying behind your back. you have to cram for exams and burn that midnight oil whilst the supposedly over-worked adult is snoozing in his warm bed. and that very first break-up or unrequited love where you thought your heart will never ever be whole again. sure, you don't have to pay bills, but how should i get dad to increase my allowance? i don't think i can last till the end of the month. it feels real stupid to ask a girl out for lunch and then realise you only have enough for mamak. el-cheapo man. looking back, toddlerhood was the best.

age: 20 to 29

myth: wow! you are just starting out in life and the world is yours for the taking. opportunities are everywhere and everybody is willing to give you a chance because you are young and you are beautiful.

fact: beautiful, my ass. behind that flimsy confident facade, i'm scared like shit. i'm pretending to know what i'm doing and it's freaking me out. can someone just give a manual on what i should be doing at this exact time and how i should be doing it? life is so tough. they don't give you a chance, they are harder on you because you are young. you are supposed to go through the hard road to learnnnnnnn. and they can be a bunch of condescending idiots. nobody ever believes that a 20+ year old is capable of handling it. the clients keep waiting for a more senior-looking person to turn up. give me a break! i know what i want in life but i have no idea how to go about getting it. or if it is even remotely in my power to achieve it. don't even talk to me about relationships. if i have to go through the dating, getting to know each other and break-up process one more time, i promise i'll register at the nearest nunnery. looking back, teenage was the best.

age: 30 to 39

myth: ahhhhhh, the age where you are confident of who you are, where you are and what you want. you have the means to indulge in something you like, once in a while. and you are in the comfortable stage of a relationship.

fact: bullshit! oh, you don't give a damn what other people think anymore but you are lost as hell. whatever happened to the direction and vision that you had in your twenties. lost, together with the drive and energy. you are turning cynical and you have not even gone halfway to achieve all the dreams that you have set out when you were 21. infact, you have forgotten what it was.

you have that special someone walking this journey with you, but nobody told you that it was not happily ever after. why are there so many problems after marriage? and shouldn't there be a warning sign distributed to all mother-to-be? "warning: potentially damaging to health and physical appearance of body. irreversible damage, i repeat, irreversible damage. and you know that thing called sleep? you can forget about it for the rest of your life."

you may have the means but never the time to indulge anymore. looking back, twenties was the best. you will forever have to be burdened by this thing called responsibility.

Age: 40 and over

i'll let you know when i get there.

have a good day :-p