in a little island

overheard outside an old folks' home.....

"grannyyyyyy, are you going back home to celebrate the new year ?! you have been wishing for that for the longest time! your dream finally came true! you must be so happy!"

grinning from ear to ear, the old lady could only nod her head in happiness.

a brief wave of sadness swept passed me. i looked from the nurse, to the old woman, to her son who was pushing her wheelchair. they are all victims of circumstances.

in an island too small, too tight to squeeze in all its occupants, taking care of your elderly is not an option. being filial allows you so much as to only bring them home for the holiday season ............. that is the best case scenario.

the grandchildren do not have an opportunity to know their grandparents. sons and daughters do not have the luxury of tapping into their wise-old knowledge. families cannot revel in the warmth of generations under the same roof.

adults send their parents to the old folks' home, not out of choice, but out of necessity. in turn, they plead for their children to understand and not reciprocate the action. will they, when the perfect example is already being played out in front of them?

i don't know which is more cruel, not taking her home for the family reunion, or bringing her back after the holidays. how many more of these separations can she take every year?

where did all the good times go?

each generation always look back on the past and thinks that it is better than the present.

that's what i am doing now.

maybe not better. different.

i remember the thrills of wearing new clothes for the chinese new year.

i remember being told off by my mother for using unsuitable vocab and playing with the broom on the first day of the new year.

i remember opening the angpows with excitement to count how much i have received for that year.

i remember dipping my hand into the ice-cold water of the cooler to look for my favourite soft drink....and it was in a glass bottle.

i remember constantly refilling the goodies container so that our visitors will always have something to nibble on.

i remember the laughters, the kuachi, the children running around and the angpows.

i remember groups huddling in their own corners, playing with whatever strikes their fancy.

i remember the horrible chinese new year songs playing in the background.

of course, new year was never complete without the groanings at the man who brought along his entire extended clan (and probably the neighbour of his wife's brother's girlfriend)

in its place is quietness. solemness.

a desire to hide from it all by leaving the country.

nobody will be around.

nobody visits anymore.

who is there to see the decorations that they have hung up?



where's my chinese new year?

friends

there are those that are your friends simply because you are sacharin sweet to them. the question beckons then will they still be your friend if you were passive?