two decades of loving

20 years. to some an eternity. to us, it was the blink of an eye. we met, we founded a friendship, raised a family and built a marriage. there were arguments, disagreements and we normally don't see eye to eye. yet, i cannot imagine life without him. we went through passion, and when that passion died, we learnt to love and tolerate. he knows as much about my stories as i do, and he remembers the last 20 years for me, whose cheese-holed brain only works half the time. we understand each other, and sometimes we don't.

love

scrolling through old photos, i feel an indescribable sourness somewhere deep in my heart. looking at all the happy faces, the adorable smiles, the cheeky grins immortalised for eternity. is it yearning? for a moment long past and lost in the winds of time. is it heartache? for the naiveness of my children that was untainted by heart breaks and rejection. for the pureness of their souls and passion. for the innocence of a time long ago.

people say that you should treasure those around you whilst they are still here. time is short and the only thing that matter in the end is the ones you love and the ones who love you. but they never tell you that even if you have understood that from the very beginning, it doesn't make the path you walk any easier. it doesn't make the memories any less painful. you are so very aware of the slow trickling of time slipping through your fingers. you love, you grasp tightly, yet everything slowly drifts away. it is made even more painful by that awareness. a slow torture.

you learn to live with it.