i have met up with her probably 2 to 3 times in the last 35 years. she wants to borrow money, this almost stranger. i obliged, in the name of a friendship, rather than any actual connection that have lingered over the years. i agreed to a minimal sum, one that i have written off in my mind as uncollectable.
i was berated. i was ready for it. i knew that she would take offence to my advices. no one feels good about their mistakes being pointed out but i feel that is what a friend has to do. if i were to lend her the money without any advice, i will just be blindly letting her continue with the things that led her down the path to where she is now. even if she knows, even if she chooses to close her eyes to it, i have to let her know where her problem lies, and i had a right to do it because i am lending her the money.
it wasn't the advice. it wasn't the words that hurt her pride. it was the minimal amount. she said she was alright with whatever i was comfortable lending. apparently she is not comfortable with what i am comfortable. she racked up debts from shopping, from seeking alternative methods to make herself feel better; things that i cannot agree with, things that i feel will only compound her problems. i cannot stand by her choices but it is her life, it is her choice. i didn't want to fully financially support those choices. i thought that choice was mine.
in the end, i'm glad she got so angry. i'm glad i can now write this person off my book and give up on friendships. friendship - what a duplicitous word.
