do you have someone in your life that you thought will never ever betray your confidence? someone whom you believed would never ever lie to you or go against their very word? someone that you have put all your faith in for the very reason that he will be the last person on earth whom you believed will be dishonest to you?
well, i thought i had one too. until yesterday. the very last soul on this earth that i thought i could at least trust, turns out to be human after all.
he may not be too pleased with the fact that i am blogging about it here but i have given him plenty of mental preparation that i will. and so, i am.
everybody has a good reason. for after all, why else would they be doing it? but reasons aside, it is still the very thought of the confidence betrayed that counts. and that will always hurt. confidence once shattered is not something that can be restored easily. he chose to satisfy his curiosity in favour of this valuable and rare, but perhaps intangible, wealth.
frankly speaking, i thought i will be far more devastated than the present condition i am. in another age and time, perhaps i would have been. was it that i have been betrayed once too often by others? or was it that i have known the fact for sometime, thus given myself ample mental preparation? or maybe i am already too old to be pointing fingers at others. that is indeed a very tiring position to hold. robin once told me that when you point your finger at people, you are pointing three other fingers at yourself. a very wise statement, i will say.
i don't feel angry, sad perhaps. then again, when it is someone very close and dear, one mistake doesn't erase all the years of loving and all the love and attention he has showered upon me. one wrong doesn't negate all the rights.
he is human after all.
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19 comments:
APA? he post in his blog pix of both of you romping in the wood in your baju harijadi when both of you were hormone-raging teen, issit? if that is the case quick2... let me have his blog url LOL
on a more serious note, what happen? be more specific and transparent-lah, my dear lenglui!!
Give that guy a break. You can't find another saint among us anymore, your very self included.
Maybe he did it for a good course, you never know.
we re all humans! u r one also & u make mistakes as well so lets get on with life..coz life's too short for headache & heartache.
[Mr. Lim pissed you off?]
'but reasons aside, it is still the very thought of the confidence betrayed that counts'
'then again, when it is someone very close and dear, one mistake doesn't erase all the years of loving and all the love and attention he has showered upon me'
It's not that you've gone numb from the nnumerous betrayal, but grown to be more accepting instead. And knowing that humans are not omnipotent, we would have to try our best to forgive those whom we care for because their occassional lack of clarity puts them in vulnerability. Well done in being more tolerant.
Well, there are 2 options:
A) forgive and forget (and be with fun people like Ian!)
B) Revenge revenge revenge! Virgos are good at that too.. the dark side. Scheming, plotting until your enemy is no more. This ability is matched only by Scorpios.
ME: You do know it.. that you sometimes can't take my comments too seriously... hehe.
i've learnt my lesson too..
never trust anyone. everyone is a human after all..
remember 1 bad thing, forget the 250 good things
dear fei: cannot leh. must protect his pride also mah. what actually happened isn't really all that important, just the final result. and you know what? a friend of mine actually posted my pic on his blog (but it was not baru harijadi, so don't get excited!) and i was tickled when you mentioned it.
dear licky: i thought i was already giving him a break. as i said, he had a reason. everybody does, just not everytime the cause justify the means.
dear wuching: true. i'm glad i can overlook this one and won't spend the rest of my life being bitter about it. but you won't understand the hurt you'll feel when it's the very last person on earth you trust.
dear ian: wise boy.
dear lm: you never did answer me. what is your horoscope? are virgos good at plotting? *rubbing hands together in evil smile* nahhh. n i never take your comments seriously. hahhahaha.
dear sengkor: sounds so bitter. it must have hurt you very much the last time. but eventhough it's painful to trust again, living in a world without trust sounds so bleak and depressing.
dear ff: my point too. and i don't intend to. he is wayyy too nice to me and i don't intend to let this erase any of the good things he did.
At least you realise that he's a human.
And tell me which human doesn't make a mistake in this world?
Humans are not goods. There are no money back guarantee or warranty.
We just gotto accept what we have chosen in the very first place. The whole package.
Cheer up girl. Life's sux but life goes on. Unless you choose to let go.
it's tough when someone you trust can easily break down that same trust between the two of you with a simple act of betrayal.
but yes, thus is life, and if the friendship is strong, it wouldn't take much to rebuid that trust. who's to say, though, that it won't be at stake again... quite the dilemma, hor.
dear titoki and may: :-) i've put it behind me. and i'm smiling today
wah smiling today! and also changed skins yah?
I LOVE YOUR NEW TEMPLATE!
*muacks muacks muacks*
dear lm and titoki: actually it was the template i used in an old blog. i had a look at it again today and i liked the way i write there more, so i decided that i want to be reminded of it.
i am getting sick of the standard blogger templates.. any better ones out there?
dear lm: oh yes! there is so many out there. ask ah pek, he is very famous with messing around with his. speaking of the old man, hmmmmm..he is missing from my comment box for a few days now - stealing snakes. but if you google blogging templates, you'll get lots of places that offer free templates. the problem will be which one to settle for. have fun adventuring.
wat? Zara's Mama EVIL twin ahhhh....*running way*
dear fei: *rubs hands together, laughing wickedly* come back, come back. hee hee hee hee (evil laughter)
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