freaking and frustration

the mood for today is frustration. arrrghhh!

if you step into my store room and shoe closet for a little while, you will find that i like everything to be very neat and proper, in its own place and labelled, preferably in alphabetical order. this is one of the symptoms of a typical virgo's mind, a little obsessive if you must know. think in terms of the movie 'sleeping with the enemy'. if i give my ocd (obsessive-compulsive disorder) a chance to work it's best, i would be turning all the labels on the canned food to face center.

however, this does not mean that i am particularly neat, as HD will promptly protest. i have too much crap and too little time to organise it, and hence i am often surrounded by piles of things that need my attention. however, i hastly point out that the fact that they are in piles and not scattered everywhere is testament of my tendency to organise but perhaps also reflective of the lack of control over my schedules.

perhaps at this point, you fail to see the relevance of my ocd with my mood for today. you see, i have a box in my store room. this box has been there from the very first day that i have moved in. in it, i kept the things that i need for work; things that i will not need very often but nonetheless, requires them every now and then. it may make more sense to keep them beside me, near my working table but as space is pretty limited, it has been shelved into the store room.

which is fine, really, until the day when my anal region became a little itchy and i decided to move it. i figured that it wasn't in the most ideal place and perhaps cluttering the store room a little. so, after some brain-racking, i moved it to a more appropriate place. and hence comes my problem. a few months down the road, i realise that i have forgotten where the damn box is. my house is pretty small and storage is limited. so, there is only a handful of places that it could be. believe me, i have looked in all the nooks and crooks but it is still missing in action. sigh!

when your mind is set to remember something as belonging to a fixed place, it simply refuses to process any new information. right now, it still believes that the box is in the store room, eventhough i have vehemently reminded it that it has been moved. that grey area remembers the physical part of moving the box but the frame of picture showing where i have moved it to has been erased. wicked brain.

i am also pretty freaked out today. as another testament to my butt-itchiness, i installed site-meter in my blog. to check out the activities that surround 'whysokaypo'. i thought i knew who my readers are and i am pretty confident i know where you guys are holed up. the freaky part is when i realise i have people from USA, India (india, my friend?!), Negeri Sembilan, Hong Kong, Sabah and even one unknown country logging in. okay, okay. you guys will debate that since this is a public website, it's not surprising that i have people from all over reading it. however, if you realise, i have not been a very high-profile blogger. i don't visit other blogs in order to attract more readers, only those that have become my friend. i don't actually advertise the presence of my blog to people. and the topics i write about will hardly come up as the top searches for people looking for something fun. granted, some of them popped in through references from your blogs but others actually knew where to go, straight here from nowhere. and it freaks me out.

so, all those invisible readers, it will be nice if you can pop your head in and just say hi. so that i know you too. instead of freaking me out.