i'm in a very strange mood today. a little bit of bitterness, a little bit of sweetness, a dose of sleepiness (from late night watching of korean series) and a tinge of muddleness.
i have something that i want to blog about - a topic close to the heart. however, being one year older has taught me that there are times when it is better to bite your tongue and keep quiet, rather than open up for the world to see. perhaps it is age. perhaps it is wisdom. i have learnt that sometimes i will do better by swallowing down by words and letting it pass. a part of me wants to leave it all here, so that i continue my journey without the burden. however, another part of me understands that words once spoken, there is no taking it back. maybe another time...
i am feeling so restless today. like there is something i want to be doing. organise a get-together perhaps? i certainly have one of those outstanding. maybe a party? halloween's still another month to go, so that will have to wait. i miss having a party though. a frenzy to get food prepared, a bustle of activities for decoration and invitation, a lot of hoo-hahs and finally, leaving all the cleaning up to the maid. yes, something...but what? the spirit is willing but the body is weak. or maybe lazy.
i had a wonderful lunch with an old friend today. perhaps the icing was the hug at the end of the day. it felt like a small part of the iceberg that is my heart melted away. maybe i am on the right track to getting the fire and warmth back. the problem with being an adult is that you put so many walls around yourself, protecting yourself from any possible way of getting hurt. so much so that you have managed to isolate every single thing in your life. you don't even know that you are doing it and it is all a subconscious reflex....... until one day, you realise that you feel nothing at all.
a little heavy on monday, don't you think? yes, definitely too heavy for me. i want to have fun.
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just my very own warped view on things. all for the sake of amusement so don't take it too seriously, in the interest of your own mental...
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before you proceed, let me warn visitors that they may find today's posting a little crass, if not weird. hello everybody. are you all w...
16 comments:
u dun need a reason to have a party & have some fun, just do it!
the cure is go an play during halloween.... come here sure got lots of fun wan..
pheww..finally made my way back here again =)
being an adult is no easy job lo :(
now i finally understand why the toys r' us tv advertisement back then kept on repeating
I DON WANTO GROW UP I WANNA BE A TOYS R' US KID
LOL
"They're coming to take you away, HA HA
They're coming to take you away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And you'll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they're coming to take you away, Ha-haaa!"
~sung to the tune of "They are coming to take me away"
walls. that sounds so familiar, I think I put up plenty of those at one time. why do we do that, huh? gone are the innocent childhood days. I miss that.
hope today is a much better day for you! *smile*
dear wuching: yeh? *scratching head* fun is not spontaneous like when we were children anymore. must think and plan how to have fun. sad huh?
dear ff: yes! yes! i would love to be in a western country for halloween. dress up and walk the streets! but kids have no holidays in oct :-(
dear pink cotton: hehe. tortoise ah? your trekking so long eh? keke. yah, being an adult is no fun. let's go raid a toys r'us store! and throw a tantrum when we can't buy our favourite toy! hahaha.
dear cocka: lei chee ngor toe mei chee! if they come to take me to the funny farm...i know i'll have a good friend there waiting for me. kok kok kok kok kok kai. :-)
Very chim lah. I didn't even dare to comment on this post yesterday. Lol.
From what you wrote, I predict with some degree of certitude that your heart is yearning for some LOVE or a deep affection of place that is always lingering in your mind.
Its nostalgia lah i tell ya!
and september, the beginning of yellowing leaves, cooling breezes signals the arrival of Autumn.
*plays vivaldi's 4 seasons*
dear may: i dunno why. why are we so protective over ourselves? what is there to lose? kiasu and kiasee lah, maybe. but it will be nice to have a group of friends where you know you never need to raise any boundaries and they will never be mad at you, no matter what.
dear imd: sometimes when i sound very serious, i am not actually. do come in and make any silly comments, relevant or irrelevant. that's what friends are for.
dear licky: wohhhh! very deep! psycho-analysing me now ah? dunno lah. never bother to analyse my own thoughts. i just write what i see and what i feel.
dear lm: nostalgia?! really? i dunno. but i do like the picture you paint. yellowing leaves, cooling breeze. i want my autumn!! step on those crisp dry leaves. breathing that musky smell. baa haa! now you made me cry! i want my autumn!
Monday... I do get weird feelings on Monday too..
Strange, I hope this is normal.
heavy? i m trained to read heavy stuff here..
I hate you lar.. now you got me all worked up and curious. ** tossing and turning cannot sleep liao..* lol
firstly...happy belated birthday!!
ah....dun we all have the same kind of depressive days...
i hope you will feel much better after a while yeah.
Hahaha... People will never cease wishing you Happy Birthday lah, Ms ME. Hahah!
On Halloween, all you need to do is wash your hair nicely, and comb them forward. That'll do the trick...
dear robin: i think it's the terminal monday blues lah. normal? us? never! why would you want to be anyway?
dear sengkor: hai mer? i thought i saw your footprints quietly slipping away in friday's post. i've got sitemeter now, ya know. hehe. btw, why do you always seem to visit only on friday? you pretend to go sembahyang and slack off on friday ah?
dear helen: curious about what? ohhh! my 'almost' post issit? kekeke. why so kaypo? kekeke. nolah, not ready to talk about it yet.
dear good shit happens: thank you, thank you. nice and very long name. and feels funny when i say 'dear good shit happens'. i'm ok today...cos i seemed to have passed the bug to ian (that fella below you).
dear ian: I KNOW! *rolling eyes to the sky* more bloggers know about my birthday than anybody in the real world.
so fast you become my fashion consultant for halloween ah? you know what? i may just take your suggestion this year. put some white powder on my face, red lips, naturally dark eye circles, white frock. i just can't wait. the kids will screammmmmmmmm. and i'll say it was all ian's idea.
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