gasp!
two posts in a day?! even before some regular readers have a chance to comment on my first post for the day, out pops the second one. hey guys, you are slacking, man! pick up the pace! :-) i have no choice, you see. extensive surveys have showed that my readers prefer short and sweet posts from me, so what is a girl to do? break it into a few posts! haha! ingenuity to twart the system. then again, most of you will choose to read the latter post and just ignore the earlier. don't you dare! now, scoot, go back and read the first one.
have you ever read las montanas' post on something that he has forgotten to bring along which has actually became a part of him? eeeek! today, i suffered the same fate. i felt so vulnerable and naked without it. so lost. no, las montanas sir, i cannot live without it. especially today. without my belt, my pants keep slipping down. i was in such a rush to go out today that i have forgotten to put on my belt. i am left hanging on to my pants, literally! so, if you read in tomorrow's newspaper of a girl who was shot in a bank robbery, simply because she refused to raise both of her hands up when the robber demanded so, you'll know it's me. hey, i've got my dignity to protect!
actually, today i had the misfortune to step into a damn snooty and snobbish place. you know, the ones where they have their noses on the top of their head? i don't know why they were created in such a strange physical shape, but i guess it's useful for them when holding their noses in the air. it didn't help that i was dressed in tees and jeans. hey, that was an improvement from what i was wearing this morning; i don't think they appreciate people walking into their building wearing negligees.
anyway, dressed in slipping pants and a simple tee, i entered into the financial institution. for goodness sake, it was just a bank, not gucci or emporio armani. an officer of the bank, in an earlier phone coversation, had directed me to the first floor for the relevant services i required. i walked straight in, and upon seeing an escalator heading upstairs, i made my way there. i was promptly stopped by one of those strange creatures with his smelling organ on the top of his head. apparently, the escalator that leads to the first floor doesn't take one to the first floor. go figure that out! looking around and spotting the sign 'premier banking', i understood the reason why. from my dressing, apparently he could guess that i was not a 'premier-banking' customer. nevermind that it was a gucci t-shirt, you idiot! ......erm, actually it wasn't.
anyway, i took the lift to the first floor. aha! so, take note please, everybody. an escalator doesn't take you to the first floor, only a lift does. *scratching head at the strange reasoning*. apparently, people in this bank has some beef about the way i am dressing today. the relevant department i was sourcing out was also not convinced i had matters pertaining to their department.
me: hi, i've come to ask about this* service (*this denotes the relevant service)
man: *looks me up and down* (i seem to be getting that a lot!) *man stammers to get the correct reply out*...........
me: whatttt?! the sign on the door says this is the correct place! you don't know about the service you provide ah?! (speaking in my mind only, mind you. but if he had stammered and stared at me a second longer, i would have rammed those words down his throat!)
anyway, all's well ends well. a lady who was not so biased against appropriate attire served me to my satisfaction. this serves as a reminder to people out there: when you next visit a financial institution, please put on your slickest armani suit or your sexiest dior evening gown. failing that, please stick all your platinum credit cards and $100 bills to the surface of your body. don't forget to cover your face with that title deed or motor vehicle registration now. all to show that you have a little money to your name.
sheesh!
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just my very own warped view on things. all for the sake of amusement so don't take it too seriously, in the interest of your own mental...
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before you proceed, let me warn visitors that they may find today's posting a little crass, if not weird. hello everybody. are you all w...
15 comments:
I really hate this kind of services- serve for appearence and money but not for customer.Fortunately, still has staff to serve you well. If not close the account....
you should've walked in there with a huge briefcase of RM100 bills and wave it in his face. like how it was for Pretty Woman... LOL!!
and remember, you're the Customer, he just works there, a tah kung chai. that always gets my spirits up! *grin*
LM specialises in snooty services and haughty looks.
If wearing T-shirt or 3/4 pants,
"excuse me, have you come to the right place?"
If not wearing piaget or Patek Philippe watch encrusted with diamonds and white gold,
"excuse me, the normal customer service queue is downstairs!"
If no makeup (for ladies) and wearing expensive parfum,
"harlow, giant supermarket across the street!"
dear why: i 'tar kung chai' (working people) only. if the account was closed, i will be fired! next time i'll wear my tiara and my bcbg evening gown there to open a small coin-box savings passbook.
It helps, as May says, to have noticeable association with dollar bills.
For example, while walking along the streets, drop some RM100 bills intentionally. When they (masked zorros) rides to you in their motorbikes and ask for more.. just give them lah! RM500 is probably enuf for their daily taking. ;p
And I assume you should have a personal chauffeur and rolls royce. If not, when flagging down a cab, always do it with a bunch of 100 dollar bills!
sorry, dunno what I'm talking today....
dear may: gasp! we have esp! before i even read your comment, i was replying to 'why' and i used the word 'tar kung chai'. and when it reloaded, your comment came out and you also used that word!!!! can you read my mind nowwwwww? briefcase of $100bills? monopoly money ah? where to get?
dear lm: ya lah, this type of people lah! crash! boom! bam! *bashes lm in order to let out pent-up anger at snooty banker* you think this is palace ah? or the white house? i wear shorts, the gucci shop also must serve me lah, what more a cheapo bank?!
dear lm again: calm down, monty. friday is just one more day away. take a deep breath. try to let some oxygen in your brain. then your comment will be more sensible :-)
actually hor, i still have this whole bag of $1 coins. u think masked zorro will be interested? noticeable association with dollar bills? next time i will remember to wipe my bottom with the $100 bills and leave it for tips for deserving snooty people. sheesh! now what am i talking about?!!
wow two posts in a day and u already have so many comments. well done!! i do that sometimes too. and yeah sumtimes i really wonder if ppl actually skip the former post. haha
i really hate ppl who judge others based on what they wear...ugghh.
show him your gucci undies lah!!
keep going back there in lousy clothing just to stir them up!
Sounds like maybank wor. So far, all local banks with the exception of Public Bank sucks big time.
Yeah , you can quote me on this.
dear serendipity: pssst, you are new here, so you don't know, but people here don't like me to be long-winded. so i have to break it up into 2 posts. kakaka. and those many comments that you see..are actually left by less than a handful of people. it helps my number count if i add my very frequent replies to the comments. kakaka.
dear ah pek: you think they can tell if it's grade A branded undies from petaling street ah? gucci, ysl, dior, armani, any brand also got.
dear wuchie: well, i'm sure not going to wear my best clothes there, that's for sure. next time i prob should show up in my flip flops and see them grinding their teeth whilst they are forced to serve me. *devil horns popping up* hehehe.
dear cocka: not maybank lor. but actually those overseas bank even worse.
ok, tmr headline in newspaper: why did the cock cross the road? because he said the banks on this side are no good. :-)
next time wear torn tshirt, pasar malam shorts and japanese selipar.. see their reaction.
where is your corporate power suit? put them on and eat tons of garlic before you walk in there .... that will give them phobia of well dressed customers for life aitelyu!
dear sengkor: just my thoughts exactly. next time i'm going to wear even more buruk, and they still have to serve me! kakaka. can't wait to see their frustration!!
dear fei: wakakkaka. you are so evil! after visiting the bank, i can forget about talking to anybody else for the rest of the day.
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