imagine this......
your car is travelling at 140kph, the window is down and the wind is blowing in your hair. the music is rocking away at full blast and you are jiving as you drive. ahhhhhhh! sounds heavenly?
not for me.
my top speed is at 100kph. for some strange reason, i have been born with an in-built speedometer. scientists are waiting in line to turn me into a biological sample to examine in depth this potentially cost-saving trait. i don't even have to look at the dial to know i have reached that speed. my heart will instinctly start pumping to the speed limit - 100 beats per second. my palms will start to sweat and my guts turn into chicken shit. i meekly signal to merge into the traffic on my left. coward!
i can't help it! flashes of those flying watermelon safety campaign commercials automatically replay in my brain when i hit that speed limit. my fingers start to twitch and my brain tries to override my hands, asking them to jerk the steering wheel. what is my brain trying to do? get me killed?! with manic suicidal hands like these and a crazy cranial accomplice, it's better if i just stay in the middle lane. yes sir, you can take over. it's ok.
you know how all the cars slow down to a crawl when they reach the toll-house, even when they have the auto-detect smart tag? then, after they have been beeped, everybody just floors the accelerator and rushes like lunatics to be the first. you know what that reminds me of? little sperms rushing out to be the first one to reach the egg.
now, you'll never ever look at the toll-house in the same way again *grins*
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just my very own warped view on things. all for the sake of amusement so don't take it too seriously, in the interest of your own mental...
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before you proceed, let me warn visitors that they may find today's posting a little crass, if not weird. hello everybody. are you all w...
19 comments:
my little Kancil can only go so fast, so my "auto top speed" is 80km/h on normal highways, and sometimes 90 - 100 on the expressways. still acceptable speed lah, hor?
but!! if I were to get behind the wheel of a more powderful car... my foot gets a little heavy on the gas pedal... kekekeke!
hey dearie thanks for ur kind comments. i'velinked you.
u're hilarious la.
=))
thanks for brightening up my day.
Sometimes I'll speed not on purpose but to avoid the faster car from behind. And then the driver will think that I'm racing with him. He'll go to the other lane and try to race with me. Abuthen when they realise that I'm a girl. They stop the competitive edge. ;)
dang, I thot you were talking about me in the first paragraph, I prefer to be at 140kmh, the top down, wind in the hair, the beach boys on the stereo AND having the car in a 4 wheel drift around a corner .... :P
dear may: kekeke. and if you get a chance to drive a more powderful car, and i were to tumpang, you can see me gripping the door till my knuckles are all white and my face pale. :-)
dear serendipity: you are welcome, my dear. we all feel down from time to time. and sometimes all we need is a voice of concern, someone to show that there are still people who cares out there, to help us stand up again. i'm glad i can be there for you :-D
dear titoki: yah, yah, that happens to me too. that stupid tail-gating idiots. i drive faster to get out of their way and they drive even faster, thinking i want to race them. stooopid.
dear ff: yes, i remember that about you. infact, your name did flit by when i was writing that. i think it's great, if you can handle the pressure. just don't expect me to be hitching a ride from you anytime soon. :-p
Now when I see a maniac on the road, at least I know it's not you. :)
maybe u'll feel better riding a bicycle! good for environment, safe & save money! hehe
dear kw: if you see a cute but crazy driver, maybe it's me having a crazy day. keke. dengar pun sudah penuh!
dear wuchie: i prefer this nickname, don't you? i'm a little shaky on the cycles cos i'm still a learner. whenever a car comes close, i screech to a stop. when i see a corner, i bang into it in order to stop. sheesh! :"-)
hi.. 1st time here.
Biar lambat asalkan selamat! I love to watch motorsport like F1 racing, but I don't have the guts to drive fast too. I just follow the speed limit.
wah titoki so havoc one!
me: you must be one of those road hogs on the expressway lah!! Flash flash horn horn also still no reaction one!
*floors accelerator* 150km/j
dear kenny: hi kenny, i've seen your name around. nice of you to drop by, esp since my regular readers seem to have done a disappearing trick today. hmmmm. yes, yes, must remember the 'biar lambat asalkan selamat' this coming festive, yah? follow the speed limit? are you sureeeeee? it's pretty hard keeping it down to 50kph on certain roads. comeon now, there's no police lurking around. you can tell.....*wink*
dear lm: me, road hog? no way! i'll run off when i spot you in the rear mirror a mile away. flash flash no reaction because daylight mah, how to see? horn horn no reaction because music is on max and i'm rocking away. :-)
eh.. talking about polis ah? any tips? cos I'd be driving in bolehland soon. I know I read of one on aceone's blog. :))
dear lm: really ah? tell me what tips leh. i know the very best one. no one can beat it! stick to the speed limit lor, dumbo! kekeke. but actually, i think most drivers are pretty courteous in that those in the opposite lanes will flash their lights to let you know of speed traps. just look out for it. don't drive too fast, yah? drive safely, take care and have a good time.
dearest me, u can call me anything u like!
dear wuchie: kakaka. sounds like one of those lines delivered by the street walkers. :-D
me, speeding saves nothing but a few minutes and drives up the blood pressure.
LM, got speed trap around taiping/kuala kangsar area, the speed limit at the uphill/downhill stretch from KK to ipoh is 80 km/h only. There's a stretch near gunung tempurung where speed limit is 90km/h. OK? Don't speed, ha.
bernard: thanks.. oooh saved me. I thot lebuhraya all the way is 110km/j one!
dear bernard: hey, so nice of you to come visit this ole blog. (heehee, like so humble like that). agree. i think it's the adrenalin rush those people are after. you should see those that zip between lanes!
wah, the speed trap so predictable ah? can even tell lm where exactly it's going to be!
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