arrrrrrghhhhh! i'm going crazy! has anybody ever died from missing someone too much? i can't stand this! this sitting here, unable to do anything but miss her somemore.
missing her so much, what can i do? i took a walk back to her place. it has been uninhabited for so long, that so many crap is growing on it. it drives me crazy to see her place desecrated! i want to clean it for her...but i don't have the key.
she's crazy, i'm too sensible. she's open, i keep everything inside. she has the best EQ i know, i hold down the fort on the IQ part. she balances my life, brings a little craziness and a little spontaneity to my measured precise world. with her, i learn to open up, a little at a time, telling her things even when she's not interested in hearing them. she seeks me out like a guided missile even when i neglected her. she makes the word 'bitch' sounds like a term of endearment. she makes me laugh and groan at her whiny complaints. there is no one in the whole wide world that is like her, no matter how hard i looked. she makes grouchiness and brusqueness seem so sweet. in her crudeness, you can feel real warmth.in every other friend that i make, i measure them against her....but how can you measure up against a friendship that lasted 22 years?
for a little while, i couldn't understand why i hated sweet people. sacharrin sweetness brings a shiver to my soul. now i know. i want her bitchiness back. her bitchiness makes me feel sincerity.
writing about her feels like a betrayal. but it is the only way that i can take a walk back in my memories and hold her hands. i can't shout, i can't cry. all my actions and words have to be so precise and measured, so that i don't end up hurting others.
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just my very own warped view on things. all for the sake of amusement so don't take it too seriously, in the interest of your own mental...
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before you proceed, let me warn visitors that they may find today's posting a little crass, if not weird. hello everybody. are you all w...
8 comments:
i know how that feels. i guess many of us does. missing someone so much it kills us from the inside.
i miss him too. :(
but you can look forward to meeting up with him one day.....for me, the future is undefined. you know how people say that if you love someone, as long as they are happy, healthy and safe, you're happy? i only wish for so much.
Thanks for your previous visit to my blog at "Robin's Empire".
I have decided to close this blog and start it as "robin's karma" on 070707, 0707hrs.
I acknowledged your visit and thank you for your comments in my final post for "Robin's Empire"
Thank you for being a cyberfriend.
kaypo? are u from singapore? :)
Cheh! For a sec I thought you were missing me tim.
As you've mentioned elsewhere, 'life is strange'
As you've mentioned elsewhere, 'life is strange'
dear robin: thank you for letting me know of the new name. see you there.
dear celestine: why? do i sound familiar to you? *grins* no, sorry, i'm not.
dear cocka: between me and you *arches eyebrows* "lei chee, ngor chee" lahhhhhhhh. miss cocka no need to wear on the corner of my mouth kehhhhhh. hahahahaha.
dear licky: yes, it is....and sometimes so painful too.
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