in anticipation of a dinner date tonight, which failed to materialise in the end (*rolls eyes* all this for nothing?!), we swapped tuesday yoga with a more advanced class yesterday evening. easy peasy, considering we've been doing this for more than a year now.....or so we thought. we should have known....after taking a two weeks break from the class, common sense told us we should have eased back into the routine. ego took the better hand though.
i feel like this today.......
it's already the month of june.....halfway into the year.
everywhere i look, i hear very inspirational stories of what people have done with their lives. look at bill gates. with his billions, he is doing so much to help so many less fortunate people. look at bill clinton. he uses his fame to bring attention to others who seek help. perhaps those are great people, destined to live a great life. there are thousands out there, maybe even millions, with or without the financial backing, who are giving back to society and making their mark on the world.
on a less prominent note perhaps, i see interviews of couples who make an effort to adopt orphaned children from third world countries........couples who could have their own children if they wanted but chose to give love to the abandoned children. i see well-to-do women who could spend their days manicuring and attending tea parties but instead chose to devote their time to fight for charity. i see all these magnanimous people out there.....and i look at myself. i feel ashamed....to have done nothing.
at this point in my life, i feel empty. i'm too tired, emotionally and mentally. i have nothing to give. i have no love left inside to spare, much as i want to. writing out a cheque for the nearest worthwhile cause seems so lame......so inadequate.
i wish one day, i will have enough resources inside of me again, to give and to love. one day, when my heart is full again..........
15 comments:
Someone help ME, help ME,
Help ME pleaseeee.....
dun be so harsh on yourself la...na, u r here to write interesting posts for me to read, thus giving me inspiration to write my posts so yes, ur input into society aka me is priceless so u r still lafu-ed by more ppl than u think! kekekekeke
Wow! Advanced yoga class.
Now, now don't be so harsh on yourself.
Go get yourself a humongous glass of chocolate ice cream and fill yourself with lurv!
HA HA HA HA... ok ok that was corny.
At least you are still consistent with your yoga class. I've stopped for a year now. Sei mou??? *gasps*
If and when I resume, I probably have to take beginners' lessons all over again. Sigh....
make that day today...!
dont compare yourself with ppl like gates or clinton la... we are nothing. gimme 1 billion and i will certainly make a difference in this world... at least in this country.
Wah! You sounded knackered! Maybe you need another break away from everyone else.
A true vacation just for yourself.
ya... i agree with you.. you are indeed useless.
For someone who can sketch and write AND make a *yawn* boring post funny, I wouldn't worry. *wink*
dear licky: errrr....are you in trouble? why do you need help?! *throws licky a life line*
dear wuching: you are the sweetest. your comment brought a smile to my lips. thank u.
dear pooh: yes, advanced yoga class....but read the word...FAIL! miserably too. i'm still aching everywhere.
dear jonzz: been reading too many hallmark cards lately? haha. chocolate ice cream's not my cup of tea *grins*
dear kw: haha. it's really good for you....but i guess it's hard if there isn't anyone to push you and encourage you along. if it wasn't for hubby's persistence,i probably would have stopped too. join hartamas' yoga zone and i'll give you a push each time i go...*grins*
dear zewt: as i said, today's empty. there's nothing to give but emptiness. even with ordinary folks, i'm slagging by comparison. i shouldn't compare....but it's a reminder that i should be more..i can be more...
dear e: like my new nickname for you? firstly, a thunderous clap for you today because it's your first comment that is in no way forward. good job! hehe. second, your advise is exactly what i need....but i can't go...at this moment. time...all i need is time. when the time is correct, i'll take a real break.
dear ah pek: pls read carefully. i didn't say useless...i say i feel ashamed :-p you want to eat knuckle sandwich ah?
dear big pumpkin: that's sweet. i tot i've already bored you to death. hehe.
*smacking ME* "Snap out of it!"
Been there, done it, still doing it.. I know exactly how you feel. Solution? Chocolate, messages and time to "fill your own well with water". You can't give if your emotional well is empty. If nobody is there to help, then we're supposed to do it ourselves and feel unselfish about it. Go figure. I don't know how to do that.
Remember though, Bill Gates? He stole Microsoft idea from someone else and banked on it. Bill Clinton? He cheated on his wife while being President.
Our contribution to society? Raising civilized good human beings to adulthood.. Raising humans.. - that deserves a medal.
oops. I meant massages, not messages.. but you knew that, right?
I'm now calling you the Mummy Me
kakakakakakakaka
then... be more...
dear annie: sounds a little like easier said than done....we know the words...but not how to go about doing it. yehhh...i know everybody's got their faults...but to society, their generous gift more than makes up for it. i'm not making up for my fault :-(
and i'll call you daughter annie. haha.
:-)
dear zewt: another case of easier said than done. one step a day, zewt. you're young. you're full of life. i'm disillusioned, cynical and my walls are higher than the great wall of china. i need inspiration to refill my empty container first.
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