lift etiquette

the lift stopped at the 20th floor. she walked in.

instead of pressing the close button, she turned immediately to study her reflection in the mirror and braided her hair. to lunge forward and press the close button myself will be too obvious. i stood in ackward silence whilst waiting for the automatic closing system to kick in.

she continued to examine her fine self and braid her hair. the lift stopped again at the 17th floor. another lady walked in. just as her hand was hovering above the close button, her handphone suddenly rang. she hesitated for a second before walking out of the lift to answer the phone. again, i waited for the automatic door closing system to kick in as vain lady no. 1 has her hands full still with braiding her hair.

the lift stopped again on the 11th floor. a lady and a man came in and pressed the 7th floor. the door opened again on the 7th floor and the couple exited. lady no. 1 looked at me and said, "it takes forever to reach ground floor, doesn't it?".

most people would have probably taken the polite path and agreed charmingly. it's a much easier alternative for two people trapped within a small confined space. it doesn't really matter what you think; in lift-conversation etiquette, it is good manners to be agreeable. you don't want to start world war 3 in the confines of that small metal box. like when someone says, 'it's a beautiful day today', you're suppose to say, 'oh yes! wonderful day for ....bla bla bla'...eventhough you have not stepped a single foot out of the house today nor looked out of your windows or have any inkling whether a thunderstorm is imminent. you're just suppose to agree. if someone turns to you in mid-lift and says, 'looks like our stock market is going to crash', you're supposed to reply, 'in which case, we should all start selling our stocks', even if the index showed a very healthy rise the last few minutes when you checked. you don't have enough time to start a debate about the how the US subprime mortgage effects will not seriously hurt our market because of the precautionary measures that were implemented subsequent to the 1997 crisis. the person you are talking to isn't actually listening. he's just talking to the air and if it makes you feel a little better about yourself, you can pretend that he is talking to you and agree with him.

however, within that split second before i had to make a decent reply or otherwise be labelled deaf and mute, it struck me that i would be really pretentious if i patronised her like so.

still leaning cooly with one hand against the wall of the lift, my rather tart reply was "that's what happens when you stay in a condo'. well, that's what i really thought, in to the brain out from the mouth.

there goes first impression.

by the way, i didn't catch the look she gave me. nor the mumbles she threw my way. she should be glad i made no inference to the fact that her vanity stood in the way of us reaching our destination faster.