bamboozle

the world is becoming such a scary place to live in.

everywhere we turn, we hear of elaborate cons and victimisation, people being deceived and falling prey to scams and schemes. the dailies recently exposed a 'chinese speaking lady' who calls to inform people of their 'winnings' and in turn tries to fleece them for 'handling charges', which amazingly can run into hundreds of thousands.

i must be quite happening because i received such a call. i'm on the list, though it's not quite the list i will like to be on. can transfer my name to a more prestigious list ah? you have to wonder how these people can fall into such a dumb trap. anything that wants me to pay money before i actually get money must be pathetic. handling charges? deduct that from my winnings, ok? *rolls eyes* i was rather patient with her at the beginning but anything that requires this banana to converse more than 5 minutes in mandarin has me raising both hands in defeat. i just lied and said i was in a meeting. :-p

when i heard 'can you speak mandarin?' for a second time a few weeks later, i realise that she has no inkling whatsoever that she has targeted me previously. it was only then that i realise it was a scam, my patience shredded to a million pieces, and i just hung up the phone on her. wasting even a single minute more would have been a sin.

i have also been approached by those gullible 'salesmen' hawking near carparks who insist that you scratch a ticket for some electronics lucky draw. it is very amusing to see their fake surprise and even fake-r joy at your 'winning'. can you imagine their response when told that i was simply not interested in following them to redeem their prize? it's a big microwave wohhh! sorry, got already. don't want. also got some cash prize wohhhhh! sorry, not interested. sheesh! all those oscar-winning acting performances for nothing.

yesterday, i was reading mamapumpkin's latest brush with the shadowy side when my handphone rang. someone from telekom, wanting to update their records. hmmmm.....have you ever known telekom to be so diligent? the one that requires ten people to stand around whilst one is testing the connection at the box? if you can call me, you've got my records, ok?

he: i will like to confirm your records.

me: hmmmmm.

he: is your company name xyz?

me: mmm hmph.

he: is your company address 786, jalan blabla, 22222 kl?

me: mmm hmph. (where does he get all these information anyway?)

he: is the manager's name mr gobbledook?

me: mmm hmph.

he: what is his handphone no.?

me: i don't know his handphone no.(hullo? you can call here, contact him here lah)

he: what is his e-mail address?

me: we don't use e-mail. (kekekeke)

he: (undefeated) what is the handphone of your contact person?

me: huh? i don't know mr goobledook's handphone (thinking he's either deaf or really dense)

he: no, i mean your contact person.

me: *sigh* mr goobledook is the contact person lah (otherwise why would his name be in your record, duh!)

he: what is your contact person's e-mail?

me: he doesn't use e-mail (i'm pretty patient, don't you think?)

he: (seeing that he was getting nowhere, finally throws in the towel) ok, goodbye.

i don't know how his scam goes or whether there is really a person working in telekom who is fuming right now at a damn uncooperative client. wasn't born yesterday, sorry (yes, yes, my readers will readily testify to the fact that i'm aging and has been talking about nothing except aging. :-p).

rule no. 1: never volunteer any information to strangers over the phone.

Note 13/9/07: today, another malay lady called from telekom, wanting to update information. either this is genuinely a very pathetic exercise by their company to update the records, or this scam is indeed very fully-staffed, perhaps even better than telekom itself. still, before she could finish her sentence, i told her someone has already called and i've given him all the information i could give...which basically amounted to zilch. hehe. i'm growing increasingly cynical.