happy birthday

the sky is so blue.

i can't get over what a clear and beautiful day it is supposed to be. the weather warm, the cloudy haze gone; it belie the melancholy that rest inside of me. everyone is going about their activities as normal, as if the significance of today escapes them....which is of course, true. some have forgotten what today is, what it is supposed to mean. then again, it probably doesn't mean much, except to us selected few.

today was meant as a celebration of life, for the glory of 36 years of living. we gathered to wish her a very happy birthday. which is such an irony. my wish is not as greedy, i only wish she can look at me and smile. the smile that i once took for granted. the smile that greeted me everyday when i didn't know to appreciate. i ask for one second longer, one minute if i may, or an hour if i can, a day, a lifetime....what does it matter? just one more time for me to tell her i love her. and that the world is quieter without her.