devoid, day 2

24 hours seem longer than it actually is. after each time i pour that offensive, hubby says it's not that bad, fiber drink into my mouth, i wonder if i will be able to go through a next time. just when you think no way, 2nd time isn't actually that bad because i was mentally prepared for the worst. plus the i'm-so-hungry-i-can-put-anything-in-my-mouth factor. the peculiar intake tolerance graph goes downhill a little for the 3rd time because, despite being mentally prepared, you realise you can't take the shit anymore. your courage tends to be a little yellow early in the morning, especially when your brain runs images of yummy instant noodles with ham, sausage and an egg on the side. *drools* makes me realise how pampered my lifestyle has been. i've never had to put things i find offensive into my mouth, except for the very burnt and completely inedible fried rice, which i had to drench with ketchup to make it more tolerable, that i had to frequently ingest during my secondary school days in singapore, with nary a soul but the incompetent maid and my m.i.a. brother. i'm thinking of old times, that cannot be a good sign. the booklet never mention hallucination and disorganised thoughts as a symptom. refund!!!

makes me also realise how much i've taken being able to have three regular meals on time for granted. never having to go hungry, except for deliberate action on my part. never having to go through that cold, empty feeling of not having a full stomach and worrying about your next meal. not that i've ever wasted food nor taken the plights of homeless beggars and war-distressed orphans lightly but it makes me think a little more of them and wish more could be done.

i've lost 1kg and feel lighter, more svelte, but far from slim, though weight loss is not permanent and was never the purpose of this detoxifying exercise. when presented as detoxifying, instead of dieting, strange how it garners more support from family members, who perhaps do indeed see the need for me to remove all the years of accumulated toxins, real or imaginary, in my body.

a point of note; lack of nourishment affect judgement, vision and definitely energy level.known to affect grumpiness as well.