have you ever thought.....?

have you ever given a thought to those people manning the emergency 999 hotline?

i've never had to dial the number, so to me they basically do not exist. they are phantom people, existing only in dreams and suspended reality, until the need arises. how did i come to think about them today? *taking a deep breath* a long grandmother story ensues.

my today's experience with the singapore iras (not the emergency department meh? patience and the answer will be with you) further fortifies my opinion that they are nothing more to shout about than our very own, regardless of some stubborn naive blogger's unproven stand to the contrary (you know who you are). one whole department went missing today. no one answered the phone, despite my ringing off the hook, calling non-stop and shouting down the dialling-tone receiver. granted, it wasn't the hotline, which of course would have been manned 24/7. it's a more obscure, less known department. don't ask me which. you think they would tell me secret hush-hush information like these when they pass out crude "call this number XXXXXXX".

i thought it was a holiday, but 29th april doesn't ring any bell. a little later, i learnt from my personal news reporter that singapore was experiencing earthquake. the logical conclusion was that the entire department was evacuated in a earthquake-drill, hence no one was left manning the phone. ok, forgiven, some obscure singapore income tax department. in situations of life and death, you are allowed to leave your desk.

which brings my sharp and darting mind to our friendly emergency desk. if the obscure singapore iras department is allowed to leave their office during earthquakes and other life-threatening emergencies, what about those people manning the 999 desk? the walls are shaking, the pictures bouncing onto the floor, pieces of ceiling decorating your hair. do you still go, 'you have reached 999. what department are you looking for?' or do you scream for your life and dash out the door like everybody else? when you are hired, did you sign a form to also sacrifice your life for the greater good and stay valiantly glued to your desk, in good and in bad? if they are making you stay by the phone through thick and thin, you better be paid very damn well for the possibility of giving up your life. if you are free to act like any other human and run with your tails between your legs, who will be left manning the emergency lines? the island is shaking, buildings dropping like cards, people injured, death inevitable. everybody needs help. who can we call? definitely not the ghostbusters.

mr personal news reporter's opinion is that singapore's emergency hotline could be outsourced to india, as with anything else in the world nowadays. you want to talk to president bush? you've got to understand the heavily indian-accented white house hotline desk first. you need to speak to a european bank officer in austria? you've to go pass the indian fella again. toilet clogged up? printer kaput? car lost somewhere in timbaktu? india knows all about our secrets. so, the theory is when singapore is having an earthquake, india answers. sounds plausible? have no fear, when singapore is flooded by a sudden meltdown of glaciers in iceland, india is there to answer all the 999 calls and despatch rescue teams into homes.

only problem is, when there is an earthquake in india, who rescues singapore? singaporean will be left wondering why no one is anwering the emergency number when the sky is blue and the ground stable as rock. again, ingenious mr personal news reporter figures that parallel running comes into the picture. interesting theory, huh?

can someone in singapore please call the emergency number to prove my theory? when the hotline answers, 'good morning. you have reached the emergency hotline. which department do you want?', remember to ask, 'are you in india?'.

ROFL.

p/s: evil mr news reporter just informed me that there was no earthquake in singapore. singaporeans, you don't have to panic yet. please blame all inaccurate reporting on mr evil news reporter.