hating it way back then

and part 2....

things i dislike:

1. queues and crowds

2. discos

3. raisins, jackfruit, tomatoes, pickles and onions

4. snobbish, playing-hard-to-get people

5. guys who bully or hit girls

6. yellow

7. the idea of being under the threat of nuclear / world war 3

8. window-shopping

9. alcohol

10. waking up

11. sleeping (except when i'm tired)

12. rude, ill-mannered, no respect for other people or properties.

13. unreasonable people

14. gardening under the hot sun

15. guys who dont' respect me or my decision

16. hot warm days

17. news

18. people who won't even help themselves and just remain miserable.

19. people who smokes.

20. creamy cakes

21. doing nothing and feeling bored.

22. guys who are so desperate, they practically throw themselves at you.

faux-pas

went shopping for my not-so-little niece's birthday. spied this really nice item; you know those big machines in the amusement park with the big claw that you control to go down, right or left to grab the small souvenier that you wanted? well, this was a miniature version of that and me, being still the kid at heart, thought cool! if she hated it, i can always take it back, with a smile on my face.

so, i looked for the nearest salesperson. miss, does this work? she turned and gave me the angriest, most sullen look ever. what? what?? what did i say wrong? err........no! is 'she' not a 'she'?? she did look quite butch, or perhaps unisex is the better description. she's not ugly or anything like that, she just seems to fit both the male and female category. nahhhh, i can't be wrong. or am i? damn! damn! should have just said 'excuse me, does this work....' without any reference to a particular gender. why did i have to put my foot in my mouth! she opens her mouth to reply. damn! still can't tell whether she's a girl or guy. did i interrupt her listening in on her colleague's conversation with another guy or did i made a major boo-hoo in her sexual identity? she still looks pissed off.

much later, i realised she must be a girl. she has boobs. phew! nearly made a faux-pas there. but why was she so angry with me then? permanently contorted face.

impressive

don't try to impress me with who you've seen or who you've been with, i probably wouldn't know who they are.

don't try to impress me with how thick your wallet is or how many cards you have inside, i will think you are shallow.

don't try to impress me with the places you have been, i will think you have some big issues you are trying to avoid at home.

don't try to impress me with how big and expensive your car is, i will think you have a small appendage and is trying to make up for the insecurity.

don't try to impress me with the size of your house, i will pity you because it's cold, empty and lonely.

don't try to impress me with the things you know, because i know you'll never know everything.

don't try to impress me with your sensitivity; i don't need to know anyone who cries at the setting sun and thinks that it is moving.

impress me with your patience, for all things big and small.

impress me with your sense of humour, if you are certain you have one.

impress me with your tolerance; for diversity, for difference, for everything that is not you.

impress me with your confidence, because you don't care what everybody else thinks of you.

impress me with your friendship, because you really do care about me.

death of a cup

walking into the kitchen, i spied the percolator running with just enough brew left on the pot for one cup. my mouth salivates in response. i love coffee. i hate coffee. it's a love-hate relationship. but today i can do with one; it has been a stressful if not busy day.

picked up a cup from mum's cupboard. oh no, not that cup again. the one that makes loud disturbing music when the cup is raised from the table. 'music' being a matter of opinion; i see it more as noise. irritating rhythms associated mainly with chinese new year celebrations. tong-tong-chang. tong-tong-chang. the michellin man grins back at me from the shiny surface of the cup whilst i grimaced. my head is throbbing. who invented the musical cup anyway? who thought it was a brilliant idea to have some cup play the same music over and over again like a broken record while someone is trying to have a relaxing cuppa. someone enjoying a sip of drink over an engaging novel or a drink whilst catching up with friends. not exactly conducive with the senseless music interrupting everything from decent conversations to deep thoughts every so often. it must have been the inventor's idea of a practical joke to the gullible world, so eager to buy up any gimic.

i remembered buying one such musical cup for my mother when i was younger. perhaps one of those mother day's present. did i or didn't i? i can't convince myself that i was ever that thoughtless in selecting gifts. don't know why i ever thought it was a cute idea. don't see that cup lying around either. mum must have 'accidentally' dropped it one day when she had all that she could bear. i can see why now. my fingers feel very rubbery and slippery now too. you think mum will miss the cup if i murder it?

human nature

human nature is quite an ugly thing, isn't it? the frequent asked question; are we born good or are we naturally selfish and greedy? why is it so easy to turn to the darker side of our nature?

in the supermarket, anywhere, walk up to any product. start piling all of it into your cart, and very soon you will have curious stares from the aunties hovering around. they will start to move closer, like the hungry wolves testing their boundaries. they will pick up the same product, look at it and examine it thoroughly. why is someone else soooo interested in this thing? this must be a good thing. this must be value for money. no opinion of their own whatsoever, no judgement on whether they need it or what is in the product. if somebody wants it so bad, it must be good, and hence they want it too. the herd theory. or the local equivalent, the kiasu theory. it's also how many housemakers are tricked into parting with their husband's hard-earned cash; greed. a time-honoured trick, announced to the world by tvs, radios, newspapers, every way you can think of, but still there are those that falls in the trap. of simply wanting what other people want. some fight with others for that item on sale, an elbow in the rib here, a push of the hip there, all to get a firmer hold of that red skirt. an item that they have not even tried, much less get a better look at. are they sure they really want it? for all you know, the winner brings the trophy home and shove it behind the pile of clothes that will never be worn. all because of pride.

for men, other people's women are always better, more attractive, more understanding, more sexy, more ... everything; this rings true after many years of marriage of course, when the sparks don't burn anymore. their cars are better, their houses bigger, their dogs cuter... of course, you understand that the person whose wife you are eyeing is in turn eyeing your wife. what you don't appreciate, many are appreciating.

years of marriage dull senses. hearing, eyesight, smell and even taste. you can't hear what she is really trying to tell you anymore. you can't see what's different about her today. you can't even smell the new perfume she has on. but the funny thing about men, when she is suddenly the center of attention, your attention perks up again. hallelujah! it's a miracle. you can see, hear and smell again. you want to 'date' her all over again. cosy candlelight dinners. special attention. consideration. but when she is out of the limelight, she will get shelved behind the forsaken golf clubs and mint-new unused golf shoes once again. just because she will always be there. people want, i want. people don't want, i'm in no great hurry to want.

men, women. all the same. same ugly human nature.

the secret to big boobs

i know of an expert in the art of women observation. this is perhaps a skill that most, if not all, men possess. inborn. genetically ingrained. like eating, breathing and blinking. but he is not like any other testosterone-driven men. his observations have been so detailed that it has brought him to another level of expertise, and so a theory is conceived. the boobsy bimbo theory. i probably should be a little shocked, and perhaps outraged, at the amount of time he has spend watching boobs to conceive this theory but men will be men.

through his observations, the women in london are generally more well-endowed than their counterparts in asian countries, like malaysia and hong kong for example. i will have to agree. if you know any hong kong ladies, they are usually referred to as kai tak airport, or the newer chep lap kok airport; reason being their chest is as flat as the airport runway. putting aside those that have assistance from surgeons and implantations, of course. london ladies, on the other hand, have a pretty good helping on their plate. of course, their respective body size has to be taken into consideration; generally meatier ladies have a bigger spotlight and slim, bone-like woman have nothing much to show, on their chest or anywhere else on the body. fat can't be manipulated to grow on only one part of the body, you know. so, if a lady is a close relative of the science laboratory skeleton, most likely her 32Fs are not a gift from nature.

thus, i argued that the ladies in london are meatier, as compared to asian ladies, and hence have bigger mother natures. mr expert however has gone one up in his observations. ceteris paribus, everything else remaining the same, that is even with the same body size, their boob size differs. their diet perhaps? milk?, i protested. perhaps. but milk makes big boobs? doesn't quite cut the logic department. maybe stress, he argues.

i muse for a little while. this is not entirely impossible. it has been known for generations that when men, generally speaking as a specie and not just the male sex, are faced with stress and danger, their body organs will shrink closer to their body in a self-denfensive mode. like when faced with potential enemy, men's .....erm....sack (?, this is as refined as i can go) will shrink closer to their body in an attempt to protect themselves from their enemy. in the modern world, we are not faced with man-eating cannibals and big fat dinosaurs but stress is still a very real threat. stress from many things. and it is also a known fact that hong kong is a very stressful place to live in. perhaps it is not a wonder that their body parts also cling closer to their bodies? a built-in reflex self-defense mechanism from the body? hong kong women are more stressful, hence their boobs are smaller. london ladies, after having a jolly night on the town and running to the nearest pub when the rare sun makes an appearance, is less stressful and thus have bigger boobs. my inference from his observations, at least. all the scientists and theorists in the world, please don't scream at my shallow, one dimensional theory.

thus, the theorem for boobsy bimbo is born. those using more brain, more stressful, have smaller boobs. those less stressed, a little dazed and generally more happy-go-lucky will have bigger boobs. the secret to big boobs. here lies the mystery to your GG cups.

excuse me while i hang my brain out for a little while and be dazed debby. i've got to work on getting my GG cups.

colours that make my life

sometimes you think you know yourself very well. but then you wonder, do you really?

the story flashes back in time. a simple enough story. i bought 3 coloured files a long time back. i then alloted it for the use of my family members; one for storing mum and dad's stuff, one for my brother and his family and one for my own family. one pink, one purple and one turquoise-ish green.

my favourite colour? when i was a wee little girl, like most other girls, i loved pink. i think it's a natural fondness for many little girls. sacharrin sweetness and all the kinds. pink bedsheets, pink pencils, pink books, pink bags, it stirs something inside with its superficial nectar. until someone accused me of liking pink, that is. even way back, i can't stand to conform. to be a sheep in the flock. me? liking pink like all the other sheeps? nooooo way. i chose other colours instinctively. purple. blue. green. all the other pastel colours. but not pink. deep down, i think i still do like pink, but i learnt to like the other colours too.

as i grow up, pink really did made me a little repulsive. pink clothes, pink shoes, pink bags, they still look sweet. but sacharrin sweetness is just not for me. i realised i love turquoise. that shade that is a mix between green and blue. not quite one nor the other, but also a mix of both. sounds just like me. i love the very idea of it.

back to the story of the files. i love turquoise. but not the turquoise-green file which was more green than turquoise. so, i chose the purple file for myself (which was my favourite colour at one point and is probably my second favourite colour now), the pink for my mum (which is fitting, i thought, because my mum is all sweet and pretty, though at one point in time i believe her favourite colour was, and probably still is, purple) and bro gets the green file. colour coded for easy recognition. or so i would have thought. what i didn't know was how little i understand myself. everytime i make a grab for my file, i have always chosen the wrong one, merely by looking from the colour and associating it with the colour that i like. every.....single.....time. wrong guess.

don't i know which colour i like? don't i remember? is it because i liked all 3 colours at one point in time or other. or is it because i've never really truly loved any ?

why am i telling you this story? because it puzzles me. i thought i know myself, but it turns out, i don't really. and also because it feels like there is something more to this story, something in the deep consciousness that is waiting to be exposed, but i don't quite know what. what do you think this story is about?

sale! once in a lifetime!

this is an advertisement.


the first advertisement here. and the last, i think. so, be grateful you are witnessing history in the making. but it's not a paid advertisement; well, i don't get monetary gains from the mention, unless you count the exchange of friendship and some dinner treats, that is. but for my dinner treats to come true, you loyal readers have to spread the news and generate some sales for us first. think of it as a good deed to put food in my tummy *grins*

product.







gift bags. not the mini tiffin carrier. that is not for sale. hop in here for more details. if you know anybody who needs these, you know where to re-direct them. start with..'there's this fantastic site that....' and use adjectives such as 'bargain', 'magnificent', 'wonderful', 'once in a lifetime' (people always can't forego it if they think they'll never be able to get another opportunity like this again) and 'sale' (yes, this will perk up anybody's ear!).


and wait, we have more than one measly item in our stock. ta dahhhhh!







and for the unimaginative lots, i have thought of 50 ways on how to use the gift bags....mostly as gift bags, of course... duh!, but not necessarily!

#1: to store your diamonds....or crystals. i've seen swarovski does it, and it makes one feel soooo rich. cut glass, if you can't afford the above two.

#2: to put sweets in little bags. halloween's round the corrrrrner.

#3: to put little candles, heart-shaped of course, as souveniers.

#4: to put little bottles of perfumes, as souveniers again. nothing like people linking you with smelling good.

#5: to put your bandages and little first-aid items. the most fashionable first-aid-kit around. the motto: if you got to get hurt, get it with a little style.

#6: to put your diamond ring in, for proposal. the ring in cake or champagne trick? a little overused. and the risk of swallowing it?! gasp! put it in our little gift bag, an original idea!

#7: to use as nice props for photography?? that's what i did! *grins*

#8: to put little birthday cards in instead of envelopes. hey, paper is out, recycleable bags are soooo in.

#9: to keep your money in, instead of wallet. what's the first thing thieves steal? wallet, right? will anyone steal your little gift bag? no one will even bother to look!

#10: to keep chocolates/sweets in. for diabetics. important to always keep some sugar near you.

#11: to keep a little notepad and a little pencil in. for your literary attacks or some important notes.

#12: to keep your little hairclips in. if you just throw it into the big black hole that is your bag, you can say goodbye to it forever. it'll take you an eternity to find it again.

#13: to keep your little coins in, little being the operative word. will probably break if you try to stuff it full of coins. see, what an honest salesperson i am.

#14: if you fold your tissues in a particular fashion, a little nifty fashionable tissue bag.

#15: as decoration on your christmas tree. just stuff it with some tissue papers - the gold ones

#16: as decoration for chinese new year just stuff it with some tissue paper and leave it everywhere - the red ones

#17: as angpow packets. how original!! you'll be the envy of the town. especially recommended for people with big fillings.

#18: to keep sweets in. again?? no, as gifts to people, and you can say 'sweets for the sweets'. ahhhh, will brighten up anybody's day. this falls under tips to court girls.

#19: to keep a bottle of nail polish, as gifts of course.

#20: christmas is round the cornerrrrr....forget wrapping paper! how not environmentally friendly. impress people with your love for 'green issue'. use the gift bag for every gifts. we only have one size, so your gifts must be pretty small. for ideas, read the other 49 ideas.

#21: to keep your house keys in

#22: to keep your car keys in. one red. one gold. you'll never mix them up again.

#23: to keep a small lip gloss and mirror. veryyyyy important. the basic necessities of life.

#24: to keep your matches / lighter - for the smokers amongst us.

#25: as little potpourri packs you can leave everywhere, especially your car.

#26: to keep your usb in.

#27: to keep your meds in. forget boring plastic containers.

#28: to put little 'lucky stars' in as gift. a portable lucky charm.

#29: to keep your child's first fingernail, first lock of hair or even umbilical cord! the red one is recommended for that. very onggggg!

#30: to put one piece of chocolate chip cookie. as souvenier.

#31: to keep your earrings. one set for each. you can hang, you can lay it down flat. how flexible.

#32: to keep your loose buttons in around the house

#33: to keep a few spools of thread, a needle and some safety pins - your sewing kit!

#34: put a small teddy bear in as gift. soooooo adorable.

#35: to put candles in as souveniers. what? it's a repeat? ok, ok, just checking to see if anybody is actually reading this list!! as namecard holder then. read the measurement first!

#36: put little stickers in as gift bags for children party, or rewards for good behaviour

#37: put little erasers or pencil sharpeners as reward for good behaviour

#38: fill with pebbles and throw at robbers when they steal your things.

#39: you just realise it's your niece/nephew/so and so's birthday. you didn't get any present!!
how embarrasing. you can give her some cold hard cash, that always work. but you can't just give her like that. she'll know it's last-minute. what can you dooo?! you look in your bag, you see that little gift bag you bought which that fantastic blogger lady told you about, you empty it's content and put the money in. ta dah!! another ackward situation averted. you thank that fantastic blogger lady in your heart.

#40: you write little love notes for your special someone and leave it everywhere. she opens the toilet cabinet to take her toothbrush, she sees the love note gift bag, she reads it, awwwww. your day is off to a good start. purchase can come with suggestions on love note contents, if required.

#41: for the trendy tai-yee-lung (money lenders), put your death threats and 'when are you going to pay me, you ^@&*&^#%*&@^! i'll burn your house if you continue to ignore my messages' in our little gift bags and you'll start a new trend amongst your trade. who says tai-yee-lungs have to be all harsh and brute?

#42: necklaces, pendants, pearls, brooches, all types of jewelleries. it'll make a wonderful gift bag. one that ladies will appreciate more than boring paper wrappers.

#43: treasure hunt? easter party? passing the parcel? balance the bag? pin the bag on the shopholic? it'll come in handdddy for party games.

#44: it's your partner's birthday next week. you've bought her the present but she's always
saying you've got no imagination. what can you do? just hand her the present?? boringggg! starting from today, send her on a treasure hunt. give her the first clue in the little gift bag that'll send her in the direction of the next clue, which is in the second gift bag. after a series of gift bags and clues, the more the better for reason of our sales of course, the final bag reveals where the gift is hidden. awwwwww, this also falls under how to keep it hot.

#45: one red egg for each bag. for full-moon souveniers of course!

#46: as bookmarks. you think of bookmarks as long and slim. ever seen a fat squarish cloth one? you've got to think out of the box more often!

#47: when you've got a lot of stamps from letters you've received all over the world. and you want to give them to me, who you know loves collecting stamps, do you just go, 'nah!' gasp! that's crude. you'll put them nicely in a beautiful gift bag to show me how much you think of me. *grins* actually, i also collect hard rock cafe shot glass, evian annual edition bottles and fridge magnets and i don't mind any of that being in gift bags either. except for the evian bottles of course, which i doubt can fit.

#48: jelly for the belly? that's the 2nd instalment of the 'sweets for the sweets' idea. little jelly snacks.

#49: reaching my target soon. phew! themed giftbags. for people who stink a little; a soap of bar. for people who talk too much; a cellophane tape. for people who are mean; a fake plastic poop. for people who are nice; a heart shape candy. for friends who can't kick smoking habit; one cigarette and a lighter but tie a dead knot so that the bag can't be opened, with a note 'open in case of emergency'. for pregnant friends, a piece of ginger or sour plum - 'suck in case of emergency'. for habitual latecomers; a clock. for accident-prone people; a plaster. for blabbermouth; a stapler...or a nail.

#50: keep your passwords? whoever will think to look for a password in a gift bag!! just don't forget and accidentally give it out as presents :-)

i can come up with 50. i'm sure you can come out with more. it's practically indispensable! so, now that you know about this place http://idealgift8.blogspot.com/, remember where you can get it, if ever the need arise. when you go for meetings or parties or events or baby showers or stag parties, start conversations with 'i know this great place that sells........'. you get the idea.

who's calling me?

someone called me, from some special cleaning company. a friend bought some special cleaning packages, for dustmites and what nots, and has given me an offer for a free trial. problem is, i'm not so close to this friend. took me a full minute, or two, to figure out who she was referring to. it's a free trial, perhaps she thought she was doing me a favour, putting my name under the 'put down another five names if you want to qualify' list but it doesn't quite feel like a favour. the phrase 'if you have friends like these, who needs enemy' comes to mind. perhaps if she had called to head me up first. suddenly, everybody wants to be a 'friend'?

received another call, from true fitness, with an offer for a 7 day free trial.

caller: your friend, alice, referred you to us.

me: i don't know any alice . well, i do, two alice-s in fact, but not in a way that they will dare to 'refer' me for anything. doubt they even know anything more than my name. and technically, they are not even my friends. acquaintance, perhaps.

caller: she stays in pj.

me: i don't know any alice who stays in pj. actually, i don't know where my alice-s stay, but i'm not going to start acknowledging anybody, especially when i'm talking to tele-marketers.

caller: alice, or wendy?

me: i don't know any alice or wendy. anywayyyyyyy....? wouldn't really matter who my friends are or aren't, you'll still harrass me, right? so, let's get on with it.

caller: were you member of any other fitness center?

me: yes, fitness first. but i've cancelled. so i'm not interested in the trial.

caller: why?

me: because i've got a gym at my place.

caller: oh. but you don't have a personal trainer.

me: nevermind. doesn't really matter when i'm not getting off my butt at all, does it?

caller: you can come for classes and all the latest equipments..bla bla bla.....

me: sorry, not interested.

caller: why?

me: ???? i've told you the reason?! pretty dense, hard of hearing or just poor telemarketing skills?

caller: ohh......

phantom friends. suddenly i've got friends popping up from every crevice and hole. where were those friends when i needed someone to chat with? where were those invisible pals when i needed help?

yet another lady called with an invitation to......wait, i have to look this up again, i see it a couple of times, i hear it a couple of times, but i still can't remember it.........jaeger le coultre's 175th anniversary.... much less pronounce it. she didn't tell me who gave her my name, though i would have loved to ask her. an invitation to a world-premiere exhibition and cocktail on the savoir-faire (the what?) of the Manufacture (why is it capitalised?). read this and you are no closer to understand what the event is about. i would read the rest of the invitation to you, if i can stop yawning. i don't own a jaeger watch, i don't know anybody in jaeger, any idea why i would want to go? me neither.

my name's popping up in the strangest of place.

what's up with you?

was catching up with old friend some time back.

so, what's up with you?, the last time we talked being one year back.

oh, a few months back i went to the states and attended a one month intensive course in harvard. (harvard! sigh) decided i didn't know enough about my business and wanted to learn more. so, there were 26 of us, from 16 different countries. all ceo's, head of businesses, top level people.

wow. must have been very good for networking.

yes! there was this coursemate, who was a ceo of some company, who had his own private jet. (private jet??!!) he flew in to join us for the course. we were studying like 9 hours in the day, coming back to lots of reading in preparation for the next day, if you don't konk out for the night that is, and off again tomorrow morning to the same torturous schedule. sometimes we take a break for a run. many people here are running to de-stress themselves. there was this night, after so much studying, the man with the private jet, he invited us to have dinner at this very nice restaurant. it was good fun. i'll have to go back for the next session in a couple of months' time. so, what's up with you?

silence. a pause.

errrrr....nothing much?, i replied in a meek voice.

hey sony! it's not good enough.

foreword: ok, it's long. if you can't handle it, then skip. don't read it then come complain that it's long, ya?! some stories are meant to be long. not everything can be short and sweet in this world, except for me of course. :-)

hello? mr sony san, your salesmen sucks. ok, so maybe he doesn't exist. it's a corporation, i get, and there is no actual mr sony behind the whole scene, now or in previous recorded history. but still, your salespeople suck.

everybody knows sony, right? ranging from cameras, to computers and laptops, televisions, home theatre systems, home audio, gaming electronical equipments, they have achieved a very solid share of the market and worlwide recognition. but this same sony, with salesmen so many in each shop that they are hovering and lingering in all corners of the store, just not in your corner, have employed staffs that are quite determined to sabotage business, and their bottom line profit.

walked into the sony centre at midvalley over the weekend. was looking for a digital photoframe for brother's birthday. i basically knew the specs and the prices, so it was a simple matter of getting a new unit and paying for it. walked around the store a little trying to locate the product. zilch. no one offered to help either. approached a salesman who was standing nearby, staring vacantly at a laptop, imitating the life-art of a metal pole. had to double-check that the iron-on badge on his t-shirt was indeed sony's, because his performing art of the lamp post is too convincing. i asked him about the product, to which he furnish 'out of stock'. ahhhh, but of course. that's the standard reply of malaysian salespeople. out of stock. even for shoes of any models or size. they don't need to flip the bottom to see the stock list stuck on the back. they don't even need to touch the shoe. it's still, and forever will be, out of stock. i don't understand why they don't get more stock of it in the first place, especially with generic products like the photoframe, which does not distinguish by size or colour. get a few more in stock just to act as door stopper for the time being, if nothing else. how can you convince customers to buy things if the item is out of stock, especially this being a latest addition to their product list and not some forgotten obsolete model of things that people have forgotten. ahhhh, i'm ranting.

anyway, he was reciting off the top of his mind, we have two models, one for $899 and the other for $1099. the thing about telling customers the price, is to get it right first. especially when the customer has already done her homework, and the salesperson representing the company, has not. go to the klcc branch. we may have it there. no 'if you'll like to leave your phone number, we can always order it for you'. or 'i can call the klcc branch to check if they have and ask them to keep one for you'. nopey nope. there's always the philips one upstairs, nearer and selling for cheaper, you knowwwwww. nope. obviously they didn't know. and they didn't care either. the little sales proceeds that could have gone into paying a portion of their salary vanished into thin air. couldn't care less. ahhhhh, a true master of the zen study of 'hakuna matata'. didn't bother to inform me that there was another sony branch in the gardens wing nextdoor either and perhaps i can try there first and save myself some petrol. nope. the customer guidebook only teaches them to the point of announcing grandeurly 'there is no stock', with an air of indifference and a flick of the wrist if you can master it. finito. let the customer go. we don't need them.

so, off i trotted off to the gardens wing to check out the other sony outlet. three salesmen were gathered around the counter. the entire shop with nary a customer. i'm not surprised, with their amazing salesmanship. i asked the same question. the senior one, i deduce he is more senior as he seems to be less lost and is apparently the only one who flicked through the newest product brochure, replied with the standard reply 'out of stock'. he would have made his fellow salesmen proud! the other two was looking at each other and mumbling digital photoframe? what's that? we have that? they are more elevated in status, the blur-king status that is. every morning their mantra is "we just have to stand around and look handsome. we are not selling products. as long as we stand tall like a pole, the products will sell itself. nevermind what we are selling. who cares what we are selling? the customers are here to see us." no "we'll order for you if you like to come back". then again, i was already turning away in disgust.

trotted back to best denki electrical store downstairs, where i saw the original item in the first place. boy, this is turning out to be a long story. well, i can't help it if there is so much inefficiency to share, can i? was running out of time so i basically wanted to grab a salesperson, grab the stock, pay for it and runnnnnn! but of course, you can never locate the salesperson. they crouch behind the huge tvs or under the high shelving just incase you want them. they spend hours under there, flattened together with the mice, until it's time to close the shop, these poor people. anyway, managed to locate one miles away, which obviously is not incharge of the sony counters. i don't care. if you breathe and you move, and you work in best, it's good enough. signalled to him that i need help with sony products. he trotted off to locate his colleague. a good minute later, he appeared and said the man will be with me shortly. what, he's too busy fighting with the loo?? spied the sony salesman another minute later, tied up with another man who was enquiring about tvs. don't think he can manage to get free for the next 15mins. you know men and tvs. so, this tv ah, what features does it have? the salesman will recite the information he has crammed into his brain. customer will stare quietly at the tv for a few minutes, as if his eyes can tell the difference of each specification. then, how about this one? same ah? why the price difference ah? and another few minutes spent staring blankly at the screen. face it man, you are just trying to pass time whilst your wife is trying out some dresses upstairs! stop dawdling. few minutes later, another staff walked past and i asked him to get me a new unit. no more sales information. no more sales talk. just give me the thing, darn it. he disappeared into the big black space beyond the shelving....forever. poor man. his family and loved ones will sure miss him. after another few minutes of silently debating whether we should walk out of the store, a man appeared from nowhere. which man? i have no idea, but definitely not the one that was sucked into the big vacuum of nothingness. he announced grandeurly, the standard reply, 'no stock'. probably should have screamed at that moment. or perhaps burst into flames. but was so exhausted from interacting with imbeciles that i merely accepted it with such grace. ahem. the salesman shared with us that the product just arrived a few days ago, so they only have the show unit and no stock. ???? why put the item on display, if you don't have the stock? if you are bringing in one for display, why don't order a few more for selling??? what is the rationale behind best's business motto? our business is to make the place attractive, happening, but not to make profit or sell. remember this, salespeople, our job is not to to make money. we don't sell. we just display.

ahhhh, the beauty of salesmanship in malaysia.

note: called klcc to enquire if they have stock. clever little me, ler, pay 10 sen instead of driving all the way there. anyway, man who picked up call apparently has also undergone the strict salesmen training required. no stock. *rolls eyes* he was going to put down the phone, but i'm not giving up so easily. no no. you're not crawling out from within my palm. hehehe (evil laughter) can you tell me where i can find stock? wait ah.....one minute later, which one do you one? we have one more unit of the $799. that's the one i want! *more rolling of eyes*. see? now, do you understand and believe the brainwashing that the salespeople had to go through before they are full-fledged salespeople? they have to announce to all and everyone that there is no stock, without checking first. it's imperative that you don't ascertain stock first, otherwise there is no purpose to it. if you check, you will have to admit you have some stock and then you will be forced to sell it!! that can't happen. remember the motto? we don't want to make profit. we don't want to sell.

dream, dream, dream

what is it about having a cold and nightmares? been having one nightmare after another for two nights in a row. maniac killers pulling at my feet, bumping into scary old friends, lunatics chasing senselessly. jolt up from one nightmare, close my eyes again and bump!, straight into the next heart-pumping dream. i seriously need some rest if i'm ever to recover from this chronic cold. but what can i do? garlic? wooden stakes? silver bullets? virgin urine and dog's blood? should i seriously consider bringing them to bed with me?

keeping score

i finally get it. really, i do.

remember all those times that we wives grumble at our husbands because they forgot the anniversary, our birthdays, some other special occasions or simply 'overlooked' to get the milk from the supermarket on their way back from work? or at daddies because well, they have basically forgotten how old we are and when is our birthday, without referring to their little black note books? and at our brothers because they can't remember our children's age without some hint? well, they deserve a break, because i finally understand why it is that men can't retain these information. it's really not their fault.

take my hubby, for example. sunday night we were watching the wimbeldon final and i, being totally clueless about sports, was querying him over minor details. that man could tell me federer's age, nadal's age, who is federer's girlfriend, how many times he was reigning champion, who is better at which ground and how they fared in previous tournaments off the top of his head. and he's not really that into tennis! he'll probably be able to tell me what brand of toilet paper federer is using, what are his pet peeves, what he eats during break, how he like his omelette if i knew to ask him.

you can ask him about the details of any world cup games, from the time he was born until present and he will be able to name you amazing facts. which team won, what was the score, who scored the goals, who was the manager, what happened to the manager after that, bla bla bla....and minor tiny weenie details that you won't even know to ask. can you imagine cramping all these useless trivial information inside that small cranial domain. and you haven't even touch on his expertise yet!! ask him work-related information and he'll spout so many numbers and facts at you, your brain will pant in a hurry to absorb the information overload.

the amazing thing is, ask any man and i'm sure they'll be able to spew forth as much useless trivial information as my man. so, really, how do you expect them to squeeze in any more information into that densely-absorbed filled-to-the-brim super sponge? forget about telling him dry daily grind information. nevermind that he can't remember his friends' birthdays. forgive him when he forgets to bring back flowers. they need all the cranial space they can get to save the scores of the next games.



:-)

dluck

that's luck actually, my nose is still congested....... with a little duck mixed in it.

just entering into my third week of labour wrapping wantons with tissue paper. there must be a wanton factory i can speak to about supplying them with all these handmade lovingly crafted wantons. it's so exhausting, being sick for this long. seems to be sapping away all my energy. i finally gave in to all the domestic pressure and visited the man with the white coat over the weekend. his medicine is not doing me much good though. thought it would transform me to super-duper-healthy-girl at the pop of a pill, but the transmutation seems to be slow and tiresome, if at all. i'm not much fun at the moment, if i was at all to begin with, with my head wrapped in this gargantuan cotton wool, oblivious to the sound, taste and smell of the world. finally, it's my turn to pretend i can't hear him.

pretty friend invited me to dinner of famous roast duck, which originated from london's bayswater. haven't been to the original one, wouldn't know the difference. had to turn her down as hubby didn't think it was a good idea mixing wanton ingredients and duck. may end up in this cotton wool headwrap for another month. the funny thing about life is that the more you seek to duck (pun!!) from something, the more it seeks you out. had this strange feeling that the duck will seek me out regardless of where i was hiding. true enough, the family suggested we go to this place called 'ducking' for dinner. with all my senses clogged up, i seemed to have developed a sixth sense. sigh. hey, pretty friend, but i did abstain from the duck at least!

tell me something about yourself..

when was the last time someone bothered to get to know you better? i can't remember the last time someone actually cared, aside from the superficial 'how are you doing?', 'what's up?' and 'you're sick? that's too bad'. questions all too casual, not searching for the lengthy rant that you may have building up inside, so please do not seriously consider answering with anything more than a smile and a 'great!'. nobody is really looking to break down walls.

some friends thought that i was very bored today. others thought i have joined the looney farm. i texted them with a "tell me something about yourself that i don't already know". the replies that i received were amusing, and frustrating, to say the least.


#1: what do you want to know? followed with some dings and dongs... but the question was not answered in the end

#2: errrr....like? anything?
i love sex. hahahahahaha. sigh. men!

#3: is this a trick question? :-) typical

#4: i'm actually indian and he is not an indian!!!

#5: what?! u gila? haha. sigh.

#6: she actually called me back!! why are you asking me that? are you too free? shall i find something for you to do?

#7: huh?...is it sms joke? is it at all funny?!

#8: i'm straight. *raise eyebrow* it's actually worrying that he thought i didn't know that.

#9: what a 'cute' question. ok since u asked...i am bow-legged. the first straight answer i received *grins*

#10: who is this? sigh.

#11: i have two mole at the sole of my right foot. am i telling you too much? ahhhh, my second straight answer.

#12: huh??
followed by err..err..err.. hopeless

#13: 1 am 71.5kg now. another fact, at the very least.

#14: im retiring from playing football..boo hoo another person with great faith...


it is said that what you choose to tell, what subject matter you want to reveal perhaps speak more of the person than what they are revealing. that is too deep for me to comprehend. what i can glimpse maybe is the wariness of people. a classic defense, to answer a question with a question. to know the what, where, why, when and how before jumping in or in this case, not even daring to stick your tiny toe in. jokes to deflect the attention. granted, it sounded more like a trick question, appearing from out of the blue with no indication of how it arose. people became naturally suspicious, naturally wary, even from a source regarded as friendly. i had written off people as being walled up, private and cold before this. i expected answers ranging from the cynical 'is this a joke?' to the subtly impatient 'are you crazy?' i never really expected anyone to tell me something straight about themselves. not that it's a difficult question to answer, mind you, a simple 'i can eat chicken rice everyday without getting bored' would have been sufficient but people are generally very reluctant to open up and reveal anything about themselves, afraid of exposing themselves, afraid of being vulnerable.

of the 14 people, 5 ended up telling me something about themselves. perhaps human relationships are not as dire as i imagined it to be. mostly general lesser known facts and details of no consequences but still, a sign of faith. one, in particular, told me something personal about himself that not many others know. for that trust, for letting down his walls, i thank him. trust is something gathered over time. to ask these people to reveal a little part of themselves over a short text message is perhaps unfair. to have faith, to trust and to furnish a reply in return is the missing puzzle that solve the mystery of true friendship. out of the 14, only 2 asked me the same question in reciprocation. i answered both.

why are we so afraid to reveal? what can you tell me about yourself?

i would have loved to sit down and chat with each and every of you, to get to know you a little more, to understand and to listen but i know that neither time nor opportunity will grant me that. for those who trusted, for those who opened, thank you.

the truth behind cinderella's plot

sometimes things are not as they appear to be.

remember the cinderella story? the poor beauty turns to riches and lives happily ever fable that every woman dreams of, if only in their childhood. she left a shoe behind in her bid to run away from the ball and her prince went around to every household in the kingdom to look for the woman who would fit the shoe perfectly. i don't know why there is only one woman in the entire kingdom who wears that particular size, she must have either monstrously big feet or shockingly tiny ones, but i believe it must be next to impossible for her to buy shoes in the local shoeshop.

it never occured to the dipsy prince, not even once, that the reason her shoe fell off was because she was wearing a size too big to begin with. shoes don't just fall off like that if they are the right fit. i've never had a prince chase after me so perhaps i may have to put on my heels and let some dogs loose to prove the theory but if ballroom dancers can dance with their 5 inches heels on and it doesn't fly off and hit the judges in the face when they raise their legs for a kick, i think it's safe to say shoes don't fall off if they are the right fit.

conclusion? probably means that the dipsy prince has been going around looking for the wrong woman from the very start. and the so-called cinderella who managed to fit into the shoes at the end was nothing more than a manipulative, conniving bitch who was at the right place at the right time and took advantage of the situation. poor prince. i dread to think of what happened after the 'happily ever after'.

the funny business of attraction

i don't get it.

zewt has this theory about women generally being money minded and all, preferring richer partners and material gains, all with a price tag on their dignity, the value of which is the only difference between them.

of course, belonging to the fairer sex category, i will categorically disagree with his theory. i do however agree that the ability to afford material items bring a sense of security to certain types of women, which in itself is a very attractive quality to have in men. couple that with the confidence that rich men portray and you have killer qualifications which most women will fall for.

flipping through the papers today, what i don't get is this man that i've seen appear in the papers several times, akin to a local hero of his breed. it's amazing that the local dailies have resorted to glorifying polygamy, a practice that i know is being tolerated by some religion but i still don't get. i would have thought legal polygamy arise from the need to procreate, to continue the line of descendants, to spew forth the next generation. but when the first wife is already fertile, what is the point of having a second one except for more fun and pleasure? yes, more wives more children, hence more of the next generation but i am sure another single and available man, and the keyword here being single, will be able to fulfill the job just as well. this man is placed on a pedestal of some sort, probably by his own kind for being able to take in not one but four wives. four?at this point, men will generally shake their head and mumble 'who wants such headache?', especially if the wife is within earshot. ahhhhhh, but if there is no headache and plenty of harmony to go around? the same group of men will be lining up with their pants hanging around their ankles in a hurry to procreate some more. let's face it, men are not monogamous species, only halted from indulging in so by laws of the country.

so, this man who wants to take in the fourth wife. he is not handsome. far from it, he is 51 years old and can do with some serious makeover, the drastic plastic surgery type. he is not rich; i'm wondering if he is even legally employed. he earns $3000 a month from recyclying abandoned wood. on a good day i will assume. sounds more like he is chopping down wood from someone's forest. abandoned wood? how often can you find those? on a bad day, does he turn in his table and bed for sale? he is not handsome. he is not rich. he is not young. and he is not even single. what exactly are those women seeing in him? at 34, his latest wife should have plenty of suitors and the world at her feet. but she told the judge that no other man can replace him in her heart. wow! a regular don juan. what is her family thinking of? she's not going to be bringing back any food for the table. she'll have to fight off 3 women and 18 kids first. how can her parents gladly marry her off to his man? ok, true love rules and everybody should marry the person they love. but really, the hot passionate type of love only lasts 3 years at most. then it's a lifetime of responsibility and obligation. to 22 other people in the same household. i think i'll chop off my daughter's hair and lock her in the closet first if someone like that asks for her hand in marriage.

normally, his request to take in the fourth wife will not be granted, seeing that he can't even support the other 3 women and 18 children in his life. but the 3 wives are saying that they will help each other financially in order for him to be able to take in this fourth wife. wow! i know, most men are probably saying if only i had a wife like that. well, dream on, suckers. we have to stick to monogamy, so do you guys, so you may as well wipe off all those mental pictures of harem and half-naked women feeding you bunches of grapes.

what do they see in him? a man with no money, no outward beauty, no youth and no sex appeal. his other wives eagerness in getting him another wife, i can understand. after having 6 children each on average, i am quite sure they are very happy for him to turn his 'attention' elsewhere. tonight again??! errmmmm. i think wife no. 3 is mising you so badly. why don't you look for her. i'll just stay here by my lonely self. someone has to sacrifice for harmony in this household, you knowwwwwww.

so, what does a woman look for in a man? fancy words and sweet talk will hardly be enough to pass a lifetime.