little white lies

i look around, and i wonder, why do some people choose to pepper their lives with little white tales. life seems complicated enough as it is, with all the hurdles and challenges thrown our way, why do some voluntarily choose to weave a complicated web of deceit to surround themselves.

i've been catching up with old friends on facebook, friends dating back to my primary school days. they are a rare commodity, friends that go such a long way back, but i digress. i have trouble remembering their faces, their names and everything else that comes from such a historic era. i can't even keep track of facts, why do others want to embellish it with lies and half-truth? it will be a nightmare just to keep track of what you have said to whom and what you haven't said to whom, or risk losing your credibility altogether. you will need to draw one of those confusing flowcharts in that brain of yours, complete with arrows and lines linking the sequences of events and the people involved. that's too convoluted a life for me.

i'm not a hypocrite and i do not claim not to have lied, ever. i have lied, but most of the time, i was forced to lie. or otherwise choose to expose the lies of others. that much courage i do not possess. when it is under my own control, i prefer to tell the truth, and it is not that difficult considering i have a very simple life. i am asked a question, i tell what i know. i have no qualms about saying i do not know, or that i am not measuring up to expectations. but still, i find myself more and more often being forced to tell a lie. for very silly reasons. because others are unable to tell the truth. how did she die? what happened to their marriage? where is he? things that i know do not duplicate that which others have told. so, do i lie? or do i tell the truth and brand the others a liar? i've learn to answer without answering. to skip around the truths, to give vague answers. that in itself sounds like a lie.

and so, it tugs at my heart. why do people choose to lie? aren't truths much better? so what if you are fat wearing that dress, you have a right to know, and cut that dress into shreds with the garden shears. or pour kerosene on it and banish it into the heaven of ugly dresses. you have a right to the correct information, on which you can form a correct judgement and carry out the correct action. not that we have to stare at our best friends in their eyes and tell them 'you look very fat in that yellow skirt' but perhaps a kinder truth, 'the red one plays up your figure more' or 'yellow is not your best colour'. but definitely not, 'yes, you look beautiful in that (ugh!) dress, dear' and have the poor lady prance around town with the delusion that she looks like angelina jolie.

given a chance, some people will lie about everything. their past, like gordon ramsay did. their actions, like bill clinton did. even what we know to be facts are often distorted truths, like our history books. others lie about the most trivial things. like what they did over the weekend, their friends, their chores, their favourite things. lies that i don't get.

my maid lied to me, my colleagues lie to me, my boss lies to me, my relatives lie to me, my children will lie to me if they are given the chance and i do not delude myself that my husband's english name is 'frank'. but i still think that life is much simpler if we can trust the things that come out from other people's mouth.