smelly business

kids have a defunct olfactory sense.

i know for a fact that my two not-so-little ones do. why else would they be interested in knocking on my door, attempting to barge it down in order to gain access, everytime i go to the toilet for some heavy business? sometimes, in their eagerness, they will come complete with tools; screwdrivers, coins, anything that can operate the lock from outside. other times, they will come unprepared and just knock, knock, knock, knock the door in the hope that the door will finally collapse under their persistence, or at the very least, their mother will have stress-related constipation and give up altogether.

i don't know what is so urgent that they must demand my immediate attention each time, braving through all types of weird smell and noise emating from the toilet. if someone is in the toilet doing whatever they normally do in there, whatever pressing business i have with them can wait. house on fire? i'll probably wait until i hear the sound of the flushing system before sounding the alarm. my kids, they are different. they do not seem to mind the fact that you are in the middle of serious negotiations with your body and insist on coming right in, if the door is unlocked, which i've always made sure it isn't, and carry on their conversation as if nothing is out of place. if they can't gain entry, even after trying for the longest time, they'll satisfy themselves by oogling through the semi-translucent toilet door and barely make out the figure of someone sitting on the throne. otherwise, they will sit by the side of the door, leaning, waiting, dreaming, until business negotiations in the toilet is over. on their more creative days, they will shove letters and papers under the door sill. i don't know how they expect me to walk to the door to pick it up though. toilet business is becoming a lot more stressful in this household. they don't seem to do that with their daddy though. funny.

kids = strange.

mummy = constipated.