mj thru my eyes

a friend asked, what would i do if i had super powers.

a few days ago, i suddenly had a longing so bad i could taste it on my tongue. if i had super powers, i wish i can save michael jackson.

huh?

i can't shake this feeling of sadness, of empathy when news of his lifestyle, his universe, his legacy was shared with the world. for all the glamour, for all the trappings of his material wealth and fame, he was not a happy man. victimised or truly perverted, i cannot judge, we cannot judge, for we will never really know. i believe though that every man is a product of his environment. he is what he is because of what society, the media, the world has made him. for someone of his stature, of his fame, i would have thought that people stand in line that rounds the blocks a couple of times to tell him how wonderful he is, how captivating, how entertaining, how all-the-wonderful-superlative-adjectives-you-can-think-of he is, to lick his boots and polish all his apples. instead, there are reports that he was told he was ugly, that he was scorned and teased. i can never understand or even begin to imagine what it must feel like to be trapped within your own house, as beautiful or as lavish as it could be, to see the outside world but never to go out without raising what comes close to chaos with a mere appearance. i can never understand the scars that were formed from this unnatural environment. true reports or conjured for selling more papers, again we have no way of telling. all i do know is he gave us some very beautiful music.

i remember growing up with his songs in the 80s, having his moonwalk and music accompany me when i was alone in singapore. i remember scrimping to buy his poster as a gift for my first crush, who was idolising him then. i remember my daughter singing we are the world in her school concert and i am glad that her generation managed to enjoy his music and know of him when he was still alive.

only upon his death do we hear how precious he was, how wonderful he was, how special he was. where were all these people that were singing his praises now when he was summoned by court? who stood up for him when he was ridiculed? who came out to speak for him when he was misunderstood? nobody wanted anything to do with him. for that i regard with disdain all those that shed crocodile tears during his funeral, for all those hypocrisy surrounding him, for all those who wanted to look "appropriate" when saying their final goodbyes. for all his friends and family, ask yourself, where were you when he was alive.

as for me, i do not know him. not even one tiny inkling. for all that was reported on him, i have no way of verifying and i do not want to accept as truth that which i do not know. but i do know he was a sad man. and i know he was a man of unusual circumstances. for that i sympathise with him. for that, i wished i had known him and could have saved him. however, the story is written and the ending penned. for michael jackson, his beautiful songs and the wonderful memories he has given me, thank you. it was our privilege.