blogger manhandled

masseuse: \-ˈsə(r)z, -ˈsüz\ (noun) a woman who exerts excessive force in the name of relaxation and soothing muscle tension.

today we bring you one word from the international lenglui dictionary, an online dictionary that attempts to share with you the true meaning and interpretation underlying the words, rather than the silly inaccurate definitions in the dictionaries.

masseuse. the crazy lady who has two definition of strengths in her vocabulary; painful and not painful. sunday, i walked into my semi-regular spa for another attempt to work out those tight knots in my shoulder. she started off with what i can only describe as caressing my body, or endearing application of scented oil at the very most. the pressure she applied can only constitute sensual if she was my lover, which she wasn't, nor was she paid to be. so, i spoke up. a little harder please. those are four little words in a masseuse vocabulary that may lead to internal haemorrhaging and death by hand, a lesson that i have learnt long ago yet i still unwittingly err everytime. the basic instinct to get as much back in return as possible, even if by the level of force applied, is ingrained too deep. from soothing caresses the jilted lover kneaded her thumbs into my flesh with all her might, popping all the alarms and lights in my brain. it sounded like someone won a jackpot in that cranial lobe of mine, only pain and physical suffering were dropping like crazy from the slot machine, not coins. she doesn't comprehend the words a little. crash course on the english language, pleaseeeeee.

she reminded me i have certain body parts, parts that i never give the minute of day to, like the spot two inches above my heel. i don't even think there is a term given to that part of the body. but she made me think of that place again when she dug her thumbs into it, but a fond memory it wasn't. i have no freaking idea why that place which i do not make use of will hurt so much. i had to restrain from either instinctly kicking her off the table, or shrink away from her abusive touch and cower in a corner.

she covered the rest of the bodyin good time, all the while hurting me everywhere she touches. i pay good money for this? am i some kind of masochistic idiot? i was way too tensed to be relaxed. she tire herself eventually, lessening her evil death grip to something that was more acceptable. not before i learnt that there is a direct nerve that goes from my left leg to the right side of my brain. everytime she manhandle my left leg, the right side on my brain is throbbing. ahhhhh, we learn something new about the human body everyday from a simple massage appointment.

to all fairness, i did leave with my muscles a little less tight. my skin however was another matter. it hurts when i touch. i think the surface pain is suppose to be a distraction from any pain below the skin. ha, so clever of them.