facebook friends

today i sent a request for friendship in facebook out to an old friend. a friend who broke my heart a very long time ago. a friend that i have not spoken to for so many years. it's sad how moths are drawn to the flame even though it risks being burnt. experience should have taught me to stay away. people don't grow a heart overnight, i know, i understand. i think i know. eyes wide shut. why did i sent out that request? because i still care. i still want to know that he is living his life well. or i am curious. to know if he is as impervious to the loss of our friendship as i imagined him to be. and he is. that is the sad simple truth. not everybody values you like the way you value them. not all memories of the past are equal. he is living well, at least i am happy to note. and i am slowly learning to let it go. to accept. that even though i thought he was a very good friend, i was nothing more to him than an ordinary one. to me, we went through a lot. i remember the days lounging in his room, the mid autumn festival, the visit to aberdeen, the necklace, the birthday gifts, the letters, the school holidays, the car crashes, the waterfall, the bond. i am amazed i remember so much.

at least i still have memories. and to me, it was special. even though our friendship no longer is.