what millionaires want

what is wrong with you people?!

a townhouse, long and dark like a coffin, black, oppressing and stiffling without windows. leasehold. price: Rm6 million.

a villa. by the side of the highway with cars zooming past at all hours of the day, and night. hopefully, none will crash into the side of your wall. price: Rm4million to Rm11million.

a condo. by the side of the busiest highway and a petrol station as your neighbour. you will never have to run out of petrol, but remember not to slam your doors incase you ignite the fumes. price: Rm2 million.

another condo. prestigious neighbourhood, on one side. the other, what may be kl's busiest access road. you will never feel lonely, what with the constant roaring of cars and buses to keep you company, even with your windows closed and barricaded. accessible and convenient, if you are thinking of scaling the wall, climbing to the highway on the other side and stopping a bus zooming past at 100km/h. price: Rm3 million.

a serviced residence. if you are thinking 24hours butler service, little maids in cute outfits fluffing your pillows and laundries folded nicely, you are still in la-la land. serviced residence means no service. leasehold. most prestigious shopping downstairs, which means no going for char kway teow in your flip-flops and bermuda pants. price: easily Rm3 -Rm5 million.

a semi-detached house. guarded. playground. nice neighbourhood. people are so busy looking at the houses that they have forgotten to look up. look ma, high tension wires. government officials have long disputed the link of long-term exposure to high tension wires and health risks, which goes to show that we should re-locate all government officials, and their families, to high tension cable areas. apparently, most people either don't care or they believe their government. personally, i know of 2 households staying very near communication towers and lo and behold, members of both separate households have cancer. price of naivety: Rm 3 million.

we are talking about millions. millions. since when did government give us commonfolks the authority to print money? why wasn't i informed? did money started growing on trees and toilet papers. nobody had the decent courteousy to enlighten me? harumph. dwellings are worth millions now. tens of millions even. when one char kway teow is Rm4. if i don't eat one char kway teow everyday, i should be able to save enough in ....... 2,055 years? inflation not taken into account, of course. maybe i'll need to give up breakfast and dinner too.

if i am a millionaire, would i want to stay in a house with no windows, no ventilation, no certainty of being able to hand down to my future generations, with lots of 'symphonic orchestra of thundering engines' to keep me companyand a very high risk of developing grave illness? apparently, that is exactly what many millionaires out there crave for.