one hot summer night

i sit. i ponder, and i wonder at the me that is still very much a little girl at heart, despite getting very much on with age. little things very easily pleases me and many things bring a frown to my face, so transparent, so simple.

one hot summer night i received a text message, asking if i would give some recommendations of good eateries to a close friend's niece who was visiting the country, a young lady whom i have never met. someone whose name i didn't know, someone whose face i have never met. someone whose childhood photo has been lying in my album for the last 2 decades. call it fate. call it destiny.

we caught up the next day for dinner. she was a very agreeable person, easy to get along with, pleasant on the eyes, with a familiarity i cannot identify. perhaps this is what is known as fate. we swept the streets of ss2's hawker stalls, covering most, if not all, of the local cuisines. we met again a few days later, for a japanese lunch and a last minute bout of souvenier shoppings, followed by korean dinner before she is zoomed off to the airport. what was suppose to be just another customary list of good places to eat turned out to be lots of laughters and relaxing conversations . the dozen of years between us melted away like the ice that was broken on first sight. i took a photo of us, to record down what my memory sometimes fail to. 19 years ago when i first heard of her, she was 8. she didn't knew i existed. 19 years later, she's 28 and we meet for the first time, my son is 9. nineteen years later, she will be me, and my son will be her. it will be interesting to meet once more. we part ways with a hug, no promise of ever meeting again. there was no need to. we all live in the present, why taint it with false promises of the future.

the next day, i searched for her name on the facebook. i found her. my finger hovered over the mouse, but after a moment of hesitation, i closed the page. i didn't add her to my friend list. why?, the little ones asked. how do i explain? one thing that i have learnt during my long trek of life's path, people may not always mirror your feelings. she had never for one single moment asked the names of my children. should i not have taken offence at this simple, yet eloquent gesture? actually, i did not. one of my greatest fault perhaps, besides a million others, have always been more trusting and passionate than i should have. it is one thing to spend a few days laughing, eating and chatting but it is another to label that as friendship. i do, but does she? she never once asked about what i do for work, nor any other details about my family, my past, my present, nor my future whilst i plied questions by the truckful. i could be just another good summer vacation; fun whilst it lasted but lost in a sea of other memories. i used to think that sincerity breeds warmth and genuineness but i've had so many doors slammed in my faces over the years, i don't know what is correct anymore. i am contented to be just another good memory.

several days later, i received an invitation to befriend her in facebook. that brought a smile to my face. it has not been for nothing. sometimes, when life disillusions you as it often does, it's gratifying to have affirmation that there is some sincerity left in the world. when you open up and give, it is received. and that was how we became friends. a 39-year-old and a 27-year-old.