i feel like i can't breathe. i take a deep breath but the air is not reaching into the finer bronchioles of my lungs. i am gasping for breath. i feel like i am drowning; the lapping water is reaching to the bottom of my nose. my chest is tight.

i am tired. i can only seek solace in sleep, letting time pass, trying to gain strength from the respite but i wake up in a jolt. i think i'm too stressed. i feel like i'm always the one picking up the slack when the rope goes limp. the fact that i had to google for the word 'rope' just now affirms my fatigued condition. my brain is shutting down.

it is always me, the cry of my name when things need to be done. me, this. me that, me this and that. for once, just once, i wish someone can take over the lead and i will just follow. i feel like i am doing more than i can take on but i am only human.