perhaps one?
something that had stuck in my heart.
one day, during my holiday in mickeyland, my mil came into my room, with her hands behind her back. she had a subtle smile on her face, and gently she probed, 'is it your birthday this month?'
i was left flabbergasted for a moment. i realise that nowadays there are more and more occasions where i am left speechless, my mind an empty blank. not a big deal for some, perhaps, but for a yikkity yakkity person like me, who has been predicted to be a lawyer since young by virtue of this amazing gift of gab, the power of the speech has seemed to go into hibernation. i find myself unwilling to talk as i grow older. this digress, though not planned, has been something that i have wanted to say for some time. however, this does not seem like the place and time to go into it, so back to the story i go.
for what seemed like thousands of years to me, but perhaps a mere second to a spectator, i paused and momentarily gained the right frame of mind to blunder out a 'no, er...next month'. which was pretty strange, since she was correct in assuming that my lunar birthday fell in august. maybe i was thinking more along the line of the western calendar, but as you can see, when faced with an unexpected situation, i fall apart and make no sense whatsoever.
in spite of my mumblings, she gently held forth an angpow, one that contains her well wishes for me, aside from the obvious monetary value.
it is little things like that which touches my soul. i will even go so far to say that it jars my consciousness. the thought of her knowing that it was my birthday never crossed my mind. maybe a little mouse squeeled the details but it hardly matters how she came about knowing the information. i can't remember whether i felt the purported warmth in my heart, but i can recall distinctly the shaking of my hands and the rapid beatings of my heart after she left. it is all very strange. as if i have commited a wrong-doing or have been caught with my hand in the cookie jar. perhaps the rush of the adrenaline just makes it seems so. i really don't know why. perhaps the attention made me momentarily lost my grasp on my position in life. or maybe i am just not comfortable when the spotlight is turned towards me. yet, i cannot imagine that i will be happier when people forgets my birthday. my life is an oxymoron.
no matter how many times i turn it over in my head, i cannot understand my reaction. i have given up a long time ago all efforts to analyse my complex mind and have since thrown in the towel. i just go with the flow. perhaps, in my old age, i am developing another idiosyncrasy.
i have a friend who keeps a tattered angpow in his wallet, from when exactly he can't recall. the money, of course, has long been spent, but the reminder of his parents' love and wishes remaines. it is sweet, don't you think? to carry a piece of that love around with you for the rest of that year.
14 comments:
I used to collect angpow packets because they look really nice. But that was ages ago...
I always do the practical thing when a receive an ang pau. spend the money, throw away the packet.
next time ask for a signed blank cheque lah! more practical than dollar bills right.
dear ian: when you get older, you realise that there are too many nice things to collect. for my special friends, i make origami money for their angpows :-)
dear ah pek: sooooo practical lah. but then, typical of ah pek, i guess. ah pek got romantic side or not?
dear lm: this one lagi practical. sakitlah kepala saya. money can only mean so much lah, friend :-p
Your MIL is really something. She can remember your bday. OMG. ;)
dear titoki: yah, i suspect my big mouse told her. but she is really a wonderful mil. she cooks bird's nest for me each time i go back. can you imagine that?
very sweet, too sweet! the little things that touch the soul. I love those moments. :)
Nice MIL you have there wor...
feelings aside, did u get us any souvenirs with the angpow $$?
nice nice!
that one 500bucks ah?
Did you tell her this month got 2 seventh month ah? Ask her to double up the content in the angpow.
wat is your relationship with MIL? cold, friend, etc... i felt it was a tad awkward 4 u to be taken aback by her gesture.
i wouldn't mind getting an angpow or 2 right about now!
dear may: yes, the things that makes sweet memories. and writing it down here will help remind me of it sometime down the road.
dear kw: i think so too.
dear sengkor: souveniers from my angpow $? don wan. mine, all mine. kakakaka :-D
dear ff: yes, observant one. what should i do with my fortune?
dear cocka: cannot so greedy one. if not, first one pun tak ada.
dear fei: my point too. we have always been very polite and friendly to each other and she spoils me with yummies everytime i go back. not the closest, since i only see her a few days in a year but she's the best mil anyone can have. but i was also shocked at my own response. i don't even understand why. that was the precise thing i was highlighting in the post. i guess i don't like it when people are nice to me. but i feel sad when they are not. that's why i say i'm such an oxymoron.
dear wuching: heehee. get wifey to give you one loh, for good luck.
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