i am an ape now?!

the old man is grumbling again. at our annual show of infantile and traitorship. of us aping the western cultures and worshipping some sanitary pads-free days instead of parading around demurely in our kebayas and cheong sums, bringing truckloads of relatives to gate-crash into others' open-house festivity celebrations. or is that so passe too? i wouldn't know. they don't give fake gwailos invitations to local celebrations anymore. the only festivity i am allowed to partake in is the one where i have my hands twisted behind my back and forcibly compelled to distribute my hard-earned monies in little red packets. the very idea of it makes my wallet cry unconsolably. and so what can i do? i steal other people's culture, like christmas, halloween and even easter. i would also celebrate the queen of england's birthday, guy fawkes' day and the us of a's independence day as well but my citizenship may very well be revoked. since i have no better place to go, i'll just celebrate those quietly in my heart. yeh, queen elizabeth!

this year, i practiced the art of kiasuism to the extreme. first invitation came as some sort of a compulsory attendance. fine. any celebration is a celebration, so i dutifully marked it in my calendar. no trick or treating (bah!)? we'll manage. i decided to go as a pirate to pillage and confiscate me some loot, to make up for the lack of bounty, you understand me matey.

the second halloween celebration was under the bright hot afternoon sun. who celebrates halloween in the afternoon? how scary can that be?? ooooo, i'm a ghostttt! sorry, i can still see your zits under all that make-up. ghosts don't get pimples. there was a costume competition, so kiasu asked me to hop along to see what we can ravage. sorry, still can't get rid of the pirate's persona. it got pretty scary when the above rabbit's makeup started melting and dripping like hot wax. a melting duracell bunny?? ewwwww! bunny won, needless to say. she was fighting against lame half-dressed kids. anybody with half a decent costume would have won. sheesh!

this grave belonged to the guy who was lying under the car. yes, he spent the entire night, lying under the humid evening sky, drenched in fake blood, tattered clothings and with one fake leg caught under the wheel, distributing sweets to trick-or-treaters. that's the spirit! you go, man-with-leg-stuck-under-the-car.

third and last celebration for this year, unless someone wants to invite me to a belated halloween party, was held on the actual day. i was too cheapo to rent the pirate costume for another time, so i turned my closet upside down and came up with little miss school girl. don't laugh! borrowed my daughter's tie, found an old school pin from decades ago, stole my nephew's oversized school shoe (he's only 11 and he has feet bigger than mine!!!), grabbed a lollipop from the fridge and ta dah! i'm transformed.

the strange thing was...my dad didn't batted his eyes when i walked in, for either costumes. not a single comment either. he must be used to me and my weird sense of fashion.

needless to say, it was fun. that's the trick to life - you have to live it. no bah humbug!