light at the end of the tunnel

the cat seems to have caught hold of my tongue. and my brain for that matter.

reflecting and surfing through my earlier posts, i notice a lack of enthusiasm, a lack of cheekiness and a definite lack of presence in my present status. perhaps a case of not being able to find the words to my thoughts, i am at a blank when i try to conjure words. or perhaps it is a case of not having any thoughts at all. the saddest thing in life is losing your passion; a fact that i'm guilty of. when everything around doesn't hold any zest, when things you enjoy become a chore, one day becomes no different from another. at the back of my mind, the ever rationale and analytical me acknowledges the classical symptoms of clinical depression but again, it's not something that you can will yourself out from.

maybe all i need is a little break. from two straight weeks of trying to finish 2 years of work. the very thought makes me nauseous. i look out the window. the open space, the fresh air, the possibilities are beckoning to me. but i look under the desk and my feet are attached to the ball and chain. i know the end is in sight. i wish it'll come fast enough. i want to have a cup of coffee and a breather. when everybody else is hard at work. that's the best feeling of all.