i could not sleep last night.
so it got me thinking, who was the person who thought of the counting sheeps method? probably some western pyschoanalyst with an animal fettish. ok, those who have actually tried that method and have really fallen asleep, please raise your hand. well, let me tell those of you who are nodding their heads vigorously to support the theory, you have been fooled! you would have fallen asleep in a matter of seconds if you did nothing anyway.
come on people, it is impossible to fall asleep counting sheeps. the scenario in my head went like this:
the first sheep happily hopped along to the hurdle, hesitated, looked around a little and then jumped over the hurdle. ta dah! i can almost hear you guys saying "there! there! can what!". wait! that was only the first one. he had a little of a personality problem and is afraid of voicing out his opinions, so he usually does as he is told.
second sheep came along and followed the first happily. same to the 3rd, 4th and5th. these are the trend-followers (much like the 'see-lai's that enter the stock market when everybody shouts buy). by the time the 6th one turned up, he refused to dance to the same steps (he is black by the way). he just stood there and bleated in protest. i had to use all my imaginative willpower to throw him over the hurdles (notice that it is a 'he' and not a 'she').
seeing the commotion, the 7th one refused to appear. i went in and dragged his skinny ass out and threw him over the hurdle as well. the 8th one was a big huge grandfather goat. so, well, i couldn't very well do that (respect the elderly and all that, you know). so i had to use reasoning, "come on, pretty please, look, if you don't jump over the hurdle, i can't count you and then i can't go to sleep. you have to do this....for the sake of the theory....for the sake of humanity....and for the sake of all the other sheeps. i finally got him to agree ( i had to throw in a bribe of some bales of straws) but all the other sheeps had to gather around and help this old goat to climb the hurdles (he couldn't jump as he had bad knees).
now that the 8th one was across, i looked around for the 9th one. well! he was sitting under a shady tree with his laptop on his juicy thighs, happily blogging away and letting out a cheeky laugh every now and then.
i think that was the one that broke my back. i gave up. i cannot even begin to imagine the problems that i will encounter with the other sheeps that were waiting for me in the pen. i rather stay awake!
with all those going on in my head, how can i fall asleep?!
6 comments:
try this:
there is a kitchen across the hurdle and a fat chef is waiting. every sheep jumped over will turned to lamb chop, lamb shank, lamb kebab etc..
all you hv to do is eat eat eat until u sleepy.
then, voila.. u r asleep.
seng kor: sorry, mr dimples, i don't take lamb.
the last time siao char bor had this problem, i advised her to count her pubic hair. it did wonders for her. try it.
must shave and count or count on the body only ah? armpit hair can ah?
haiyoh.. you didn't read my advise meh? tie your pubic hair into bunches of 5 with rubber band. then the total bunches times 5 lor. don't shave. after you become like bak cham gai, nobody wants you.
ah pek, i thought bak cham gai very in now lah. that's why all the saloon do brazilian wax mah. actually, guys like with 'moe' or not ah? maybe that should be my next topic.
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