Wednesday, May 24, 2006

thank you for being here

the dark clouds have passed. i look up with a smile.

hey guys, i'm back. i really needed that break to re-charge my batteries. i was starting to feel so drained, head aching, shoulder tensed, hands shaking and concentration shot. erm....not that my hands are any steadier now, but now at least i don't have that unexplainable resistance to the dry routine that i go through everyday. i needed to get away, even if for a little while.

you know that frustrating feeling when you can't find something even when it is right in front of your eyes? it's like you can look, but you can't see. that was how it felt like. you can hear, but you can't listen. you are there, but your soul is not. i was tired of feeling that way. i needed to break free from the rut i have put myself in. i needed to be me.

i indulged in some 'me' time whilst i was away.

i did some...
















and some......






and

i also caught...



haha. despite seng kor's review on it, he didn't spoil the movie for me. :-p. this week, da vinci.

ahhhhh...the small pleasures in life.

my next mission, should i choose to accept it: the meme seng kor sent my way........ (this message will self destruct in 5 seconds)

*************************************************

to my dearest Lisa,

i take a deep breath before i begin.

there is so much that i want to say to you, so many things that i want to do with you. i am filled with a sense of hopelessness as i realise that i can only dream of them now. it will forever be a mark of regret on my life.

at the moment, i am not strong enough to carry you with me. whenever i think of you, i break down and i die a little. i find it so hard to put you down. but for a little while, i have to. keep all our memories aside while i start again, and adjust to life without you. learn to be strong again.

every little thing reminds me of you. there has not come a single day when i haven't thought of you. but it's cutting so deep. one day i can smile and laugh, the next i'm down and out. just when i think the sky is bright, i break down again.

but i have to go on. for you, i will live harder, play harder and love harder. i just wish you were next to me, to walk this road.

until i am strong again, and i can pick up your memories without tears streaming down my face....

i love you.

14 comments:

may said...

glad you've found the strength to pick yourself up and get going again. welcome back! and may you never run out of steam. the world needs you around. :)

seefei said...

try the "fish" pose *wink wink* if you feel "down" again.

can see you are good with handicraft!!

Robin said...

Glad that you are back.

Stay well, and be happy.. cause when u are happy, you are in heaven.

me said...

dear may: thanks for your kind words :-)

dear fei: *scratching head* i know i'm slow.....but what is the fish pose? *puckering lips* hmmm...how does this help me?

dear robin: thanks. wish i can, though it's usually not up to me to choose. still, i'm trying :-)

King's wife said...

glad to know you are feeling better now.

Helen said...

Now all charged up and ready to go already lar?? lol

Looking forward to a rejuvenated you!

ah pek said...

hi moody "me". welcome back.
are we talking about the same Lisa here?

Cocka Doodle said...

Next book on your list should be "The Electric Chair"

**runs off like a speeding bullet**

JoMel said...

*HUGS*

me said...

dear king's wife: thank you :-)

dear helen: chargeeeeeeee......erm to where ler?

dear ah pek: hee hee. sometimes moody only lah. woman mah. *nods*

dear cock: i would have thought you will suggest another book entitled "euthanasia" :-p. then again, some research on a suitable lounging chair to recommend to you is not that bad an idea. i'll go look for that book *grins*

dear jomel: *hugs back*

lickoholic said...

It certainly is nice to have you back again.

Cheers always!!

me said...

dear licky: *sob* so touching *wipes tear from corner of eye*

sengkor said...

creative wor, can use the bra cup and make it into a doll..

me said...

dear seng kor: eh! that doll is less than 10cm long. where got bra cup so small?!! you really need some good sex to get your mind off it lah - all the things that you see is beginning to resemble bra, breasts etc....*grins*

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