Wednesday, July 26, 2006

good deeds?

do you like doing a good deed? something nice to make somebody's day brighter and better? something that makes a difference in some elses' day?

i'm a goody-two-shoe. i like to help, i like to make someone happy, i like to make a difference. just not for the reasons you think. don't make the mistake of thinking that i am a nice person. far from it. i believe that there are usually underlying motives when people do good things; come on, you guys knew that i was a confirmed true-blue cynic, right? well, i like to think that i have one too.

i like the feeling it gives me when i do something good. so, it's purely a self-centered and selfish motivation. the warm glow, the nice pat on the head by my own hand.......i like feeling good about myself, so i like to help others. that is a pretty simple equation.

i believe there is also another reason. i have a very dominant gene; one that likes to stand for justice and support the underdogs. so, if there are good things to be done that nobody likes doing them, perhaps for reason of anonymity (and thus they won't get their much deserved recognition), i will like to be the first to volunteer. if someone needs attention, and everybody doesn't seem willing to give a little of their time, i like to be there. not for them but purely for me. because it satisfies that abnormal gene in me.

i don't see the problem in that. the ends justifies the mean. as long as i am really doing good, i don't care where the underlying push came from. for me, all these work out to be a win-win situation. people that deserves something, get something in the end, albeit not from a pure and innocent heart.

however, there is a big annoying problem with this. and it really makes the hair on my skin stand up each time. it's called the emotion factor. i totally hate it when the recipient or an irrelevant third party makes such a fuss over the thing i do. i want to tell them to take whatever it was, be it a physical or a non-tangible factor, and just shut up.

i'm beginning to sense that there is this irrational and illogical trait within me. maybe it's because i know i didn't do the good deed with a pure heart; i didn't do it with the receipient's good intention in mind. this is so difficult to explain. yes, the final outcome was meant so that the receipient will be better off, happier and i guess the intention is good but i also did it to satisfy my own satisfaction. so, that kinds of negates the true beauty and sincerity of the act, according to my dictionary.

i definitely didn't do it so that i will be praised or fussed over. soooooooo, please spare me the torture. when the pat on the head comes from a third party, it makes me want to bite that hand off. grrrr!

the worst is yet to come. the nosy third party will then feel it is their duty to announce it to the world. ohhhhhhmmmyyyyygawddddddddd! it cannot get worse than this. whyyyyyyyy? good deeds are meant to be done, not talked about. i cannot understand the rationale behind it. why would they want to sing praises about something that has no bearing on them? would anybody be better off when the fact is announced for the world to know? wait, let me crawl under the floor first.

the next time i want to do something good, just clobber me in the head and let me be unconscious until the impulse pass over. it's less humiliating.

and yes, now you know. i am 'peen thai'.

25 comments:

Las montañas said...

ME wrote: "the next time i want to do something good, just clobber me in the head and let me be unconscious until the impulse pass over. it's less humiliating."

Do good deeds? I prefer to be the recipient instead!, as always. Terima kasih! :-)

seefei said...

i got a sore shoulder playing squash last nite. need a shoulder rub...

*quietly lying down on lenglui's bed*

Las montañas said...

seefei: ROFL! I wan also, my thighs ache after running...

me said...

dear lm: heehee. i think i'm the exact opposite. i don't like to receive. i'll feel so indebted. it took me sometime to accept the goodness of others, and usually i only accept because i am close to them. otherwise, no thank you, i can handle it. :-)

dear fei: come come, no problem. i have often been tempted to massage the shoulders of friends with sore back...however, society's invisble rules don't permit me. quick, clobber me on the head before i do soemthing good again.

me said...

dear lm: *throws another slipper* pretty soon, you can open a shoe shop.

Fantasy "Sticky" Flier said...

does the SPCA count as a good deed?

Sooi2 said...

but u get the warm glow from ur good deeds only when the recipient indicated his/her appreciation rite? u can't be getting the feel good hormone if the recipient gives u muka cipet instead for ur help (maybe thinking u're kaypo).

Las montañas said...

me: hope you wear branded slippers. kedai kasut sekarang dibuka di sini
Bienvenido!

Helen said...

Hahahaha I can explain your feelings in the Christian context lar... lol

It's becos people compare themselves to GOd. God is able to love unconditionally and without favouritism and motive whatsoever. We call it AGAPE love. But, the sad truth is, people can never reach that level. Christians or non-Christians alike.

Understanding the fundamental truth that we will never reach God's level, it's the first step to understanding no one is blameless in the face of God.

Please don't be too hard on yourselves lar... Just remember feeling good or getting self gratification from your good work does not nullify the good you've done to others.

**I'm so cheong hei lar... quickly runs off* lol

me said...

dear ff: spca? that depends. if i take slipper and throw at las montanas, is it cruelty to animals? :-)

dear sooi2: i get warm glow from knowing that i have done something good. of course, it will be better not to have cipet face lah, otherwise whole day also no appetite, but i don't need any gratitude. gives me goosebumps.

dear lm: eh, using my comment box as advertisement for your blog ah? then must give me commission mah.

dear helen: nice analysis :-) you cheong hei nevermind, i will sit quietly and listen *snore* heehee.

IMMomsDaughter said...

Hi I was blog hopping and your blog title attracted me. Nothing to add to your comments as topic is too "deep" for this simple mind to work. Simple mind do not want to work today anyway. Enjoyed your humourous reply to your commenters though.

me said...

hei immomsdaughter: wow, your name is quite a mouthful. thanks for coming. have a seat. you want something to eat? something to drink perhaps? leaving so fast? well, hope you'll come again. take care.

Las montañas said...

IMMomsDaughter said...
.. Nothing to add to your comments as topic is too "deep" for this simple mind to work. ....Enjoyed your humourous reply to your commenters though.


Yalor, she writes very profound things wan. Can get migraine somethings reading them. Yah, humor at our (her readers) expense! :P

me said...

dear lm: where got? we all laugh together one mah. you happy, i also happy lah. you sad.....i snicker only lah. heehee :-p got profound meh? okay lah, i give free panadols after reading my blog. special offer for mr high and mighty mountain only :-)

may said...

haiya, normal what... we do good deeds to feel good... hahaha!

seefei said...

HEI! i have lying here all day and nobody attend to me ha!!

now not only shoulder but heart & neck also ache, lenglui can tolong picit2? *wink wink*

Wuching said...

nolah, ur not peen thai lah..if u were then what am i?

Cocka Doodle said...

Summore dare to say you do good deeds?
That day you frightened the hell out of me with that picture....so much so I dare not come back to your blog for so many days. **shivers**

Ianfluenza said...

Wow... Have I been working too much that I forgot my daily dose of ms lenglui's musings? 19 Comments already??!!

Well, there's always an exchange whenever something is done. You lay spite on others, you get hatred. You exploit others by helping them, they get what they want and you get yours - only that the both of you never managed to exchange trust.

And in this case, which is what I would do too - you help others to feel good about yourself. And in the Christian context as mentioned by ms. Helen, you do good to please God. You might not received any material gains, but you've been aftering the self-satisfaction. That is your objective of the exchange.

And as for the emotional 3rd party annoyance, see it this way:
You do good to others so that you feel good about yourself.
While others do good to you by acknowledging the good deeds you've done, so that they feel that they have contributed too.
So, don't stop others perform their deeds without ill intentions the same way you do not want others criticise the way you do yours.

Nonetheless, performing saintly acts is better than laying spite. No doubt about that. But I guess we have to make sure if our actions are really doing others good instead of screwing them up. Haha!

me said...

dear may: maybe that's why it's called "good deeds"......

dear fei: actually, i have looked at your case and i think it's terminal lor. so, i must refer to doctor lah, this case. here pain, there pain, everywhere also pain..it's out of my hands man.

dear wuching: also peen thai lor. :-)

dear cocka: eh, you lazy to come over to my blog, don't put the blame on me lah. if i put naked pics here, you sure come everyday...no, make that every hour! that day, i frighten you for your own good keh. to get your heart pumping mah. i know you don't go kiu kai so often now, heart less activity, so i help in the best way i can lah :-) heehee

dear ian: ya lor. used to be the first to visit...now the last. sigh! better than never lah.

it's like being analysed by a psychiatrist, man. ok, you do this for this reason. and you do that to make yourself that way....heehee. how much do i owe you for this visit? heehee..screwing them up? ya, like pretending to offer them some yummy food but have put some diarhoea-inducing powder inside? wicked man. caution when you accept food from me.

wanted to post some pics about recent banana leaf rice dinner. but decided not to tempt mr ian, otherwise he may just end up bald from more hair-pulling.

Admin said...

am i also a goody 2 shoes when i tipped generously after receiving "satisfying" services?

me said...

dear ah pek: heehee. what services leh? *wink wink* that one not goody two shoe...if you pay her and then ask her no need to give you any services except to talk to you, then it's goody two shoes. your type is called 'very shiok after services rendered' so must tip more.

lickoholic said...

Through or from your posts, I somehow have a 'feeling' that you are a soft hearted lady where doing good deeeds are concern even though you sound serious at times. That feeling also tells me you would even sarifice yourself in order to help others to the end.

But....., something still make me think that sometimes you can be quite stubborn and you will fight fiercely for your rights and you also always win in the end.

Hope I am not wrong.

Cocka Doodle said...

i agree with ah pek. If you tip them and not even use their services, they may loose pride snd feel inferior about themselves and their jobs.

me said...

dear licky: wow! you can feel all these from my writings. i better be careful of revealing too much of myself in what i write. no ler, i tell you, i'm cold, cold, cold :-) but i am stubborn. heehee.

dear cocka: ok lah, you win. you've got more experience with the chicken variety. harharharharharhar.

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