Monday, November 27, 2006

am i a mushroom or what?

do i look like a mushroom?

i wish people will stop feeding me freaking bullshit!

it is most frustrating - to look someone in the eye and pretend to accept what they say at face value, whilst deep down you know that it is nothing but crap. you have to mute your conscience and fix a gullible stare in your eyes. all the while, you only want to shout and scream at them for being so stupid, so careless.

i don't know how long i can keep up this facade of naivety. my job scope entails that i know a lot about other people's skeletons in their closet and my usually blur look misleads people into believing so. i do not profess otherwise either.

i am often a good listener...and so people like to tell me things. things which, upon comparison, conflict with other people's version of the story.

sigh! from these various routes comes my knowledge of the thruth. it is how i know they are lying straight to my face. still, i stand there and listen, while they feed me heaps after heapful of bullshit. i sometimes wonder why is it that it is i who cannot look at them in the eye, when it should be the other way around. perhaps it is the fact that i know the thruth and i am purposely (?) misleading them with my silence and because of that, i am also guilty of lying.

i hate lies. lies with good intention and lies of all sorts. i react to a person based on what i know, what i see, what i hear and what i believe. if you say bad things about me, i will be angry. if you are nice to me, i will be happy. it should be a simple equation. imagine if all that is just a farce. what you see is not what you get, what you hear is not the thruth, how then do you react? if everything is not what it seems, how can you form a genuine reaction? even with all good intention, a lie is a lie. if i ask 'am i fat?' and you reply 'no', i may be tempted to wear that short mini-skirt or eat another piece of cake. all the while though, your mind is comparing me to the elephant you saw in the national geographic channel. isn't that betrayal of some sort? perhaps some women like to hear beautiful lies. as i always say, i don't mind hearing lies but never ever let me even have an inkling of the thruth. as it is, the thruth is hard to keep away and so, i rather hear the cold hard thruth.

many readers don't like it when i am serious like this. however, i thought i should at least be true to myself. if this is how i am feeling, this is what i will be writing. nobody will be forever happy, the vice versa also rings true. if i am agitated, you will probably read a rambling post like this. the good thing is .....i feel much better after leaving it all here.

*grins* bear with me.

11 comments:

ah pek said...

show me a full body picture of your goodself. I promise I will be blatantly truthful.

may said...

are you sprouting spores? if not, then good chances are that you're not a mushroom!

Wuching said...

hehe *toothy grins*

King's wife said...

It's a hard position to be in when people confide in you. You have to buat tak tau most of the time. sheesh!

Anonymous said...

Okay I will not lie to you. You spelt 'thruth' wrongly! It's supposed to be 'truth'!

If you're a mushroom, then I'm a spore on the stale bread...

Las montaƱas said...

mumble grumble....

i like good listeners. I was one. but not now. Just pretend to listen lah!! some doctors are good at this. :P

me said...

dear ah pek: oh yes, with all the clothes taken off, right? keep dreaming, ah pek. *grins*

dear may: spores? let me check....the last time i checked i may have sprouted two spores...does that count?

dear wuching: hi bugs bunny!

dear bernard: *sticks lower lips out in pout* meaning ?....never heard that one before leh.

dear kw: ya, that's the hardest part. buat tak tau when you have heard the other version of the story. bt i like it when ppl tell me things. it reveals a lot about them and their thoughts.

dear ian: thank you for your cold hard truth. i am so used to spelling it the wrong way, i was tempted to type it my way again. ok, mr spell check, got it. i know you have been consuming a lot of invisible fungi from that fridge of yours....but i don't need to know what your diet has turned you into. kakaka.

dear monty: you a doctor? don't think you are. you are too grumpy. kakakaka. what happened to make you stop listening? that's a little sad, don't you think? when you stop listening, you stop caring.

Anonymous said...

The truth is people are afraid of being honest nowadays. They are afraid of being taken advantage of and they can't handle the truth. So it's a waste of time if you meet this kind of people. Don't be bothered by them. Imagine, you're listening to a silly little puppy barking at you.

sengkor said...

come drink a bowl of wong lou kat, switch on the air con and watch a comedy dvd..

seefei said...

value my dear, VALUE! with the right value residing in the core, words from others will not sway you so easily.

but if you insist, like ah pek, i dont mind giving you the truth if you allowed me to do a bare truthing on you!

*pipit quickly flying away!!*

me said...

dear jonzzy: so true. sad...but true. problem is..there are so many puppies out there that it's just de-moralising for the soul.

dear sengkor: that sounds nice. but there just isn't anymore funny movies out there. the last one was ...pink panther? comedy! comedy! i want more comedy! i can do with a good laugh.

dear fei: *knocks fei on the head*. men don't know how to be thruthful. *grins* it's not so much that people will sway me but i get fed up listening to so many lies blatantly told in my face. and i cannot have the liberty of exposing them for the liar that they really are.

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