ambition

i have a strange friend.

he has been asking me the very same question for the few years that i have known him. from the start, he asked me "if you hadn't sold your soul to your job (ok, maybe he didn't phrased it that way), what would you have liked to work as?". i don't know what triggered his persistent line of questioning, perhaps he sensed the unfulfilment(?) in my present job.

that would be a very difficult question to answer, as i have been with my present employer for more than 10 years now. i recently had to chuck my second date-chop and request for a third one (those in the line will know that a date chop has a ten-years running series on it). it does not directly translate into my working for 30 years with the company (that would mean i started working for them at the age of 5!! gasp!) but it does shadows my roots in that place.

i have long since forgotten what my ambition was, or perhaps have buried it so deep that i do not even know how to locate it. my friend's very peculiar persistence has triggered me to ask myself the same. what was my ambition? the one topic that i had to write over and over again in essay composition classes, no matter which level in the school. had i known it was going to be all bullshit, i would have written about some glamour job like miss universe or food-tester for the emperor.

i think my very first ambition was to be a teacher. yes, i like to lord over other children and torture them with endless list of homeworks, make them stand on tables and whip them with a cane. no, i think it was more for the satisfaction of feeling all-important and clever, a desire to guide others and make them understand. i will be the one patiently teaching my younger cousin whilst others have given it up as hopeless.

the miss malaysia (or more accurately, miss hongkong as it was more popular back then, though i have no idea how i can even qualify seeing that i am definitely born and bred here) bit did float around in my head for a little while, though i had to give that up very fast when i realise my features were nowhere considered attractive and my height stopped reaching for the sky, or should i say never even bothered to.

when i started talking marathon sessions on the phone and win all arguments with any adult (except the one that permitted me to open my cage and fly out into the blue sky), i was not-very-nicely given the suggestion of becoming a lawyer. yes, i like to argue, for the sake of arguing, or sharpening my quick reflex wit if you like to put it in a nice manner. that one never took hold as i didn't quite like having the future of people's life on my hands. i cannot imagine the guilt trip i will go through if someone was to hang because i had not done enough *shudders*.

that was all a very long time ago. all swept beneath the imaginary carpet. if you were to ask me now what i will like to be, i will be hard-pressed for an answer. there are just too many jobs i will like to try, all not highly-ambitious i'm afraid. i would love to be a part-time receptionist, wearing a damn short and sexy skirt with my bimbo voice going, "good morning, this is xyz company. who will you like to speak to?". perhaps a highly-motivated waitress, "yes, and will you like to try our beautiful creme brulee with that?". or that idiot that pushes people into trains cramped beyond imagination, just so that the door will shut, like in japan. i wouldn't mind spending a week or two organising events, closets and even as a highly-perked nanny, no, the word should be au pair.

however, my friend would have none of that. only one job, he said. only one? i scratched my head but i couldn't come up with an answer. then it came to me out of the blue. i know what i will want to be. not when i grow up but perhaps in another life.

i want to be a translator. not for the embassies or some big-shot businessman, or beautiful celebrities and important presidents. i want to be the translator for those illegal dvds, who seem to **** up the subtitles all the time! "the german take no can't" ?!?!? what craps? what german? there is no german in the plot?! or "u r not suppose to do that". what is this? text subtitles?!! *groan*

i can imagine the satisfaction i will have on the job. i will call all my friends and tell them, "eh, you watching that new movie ah? hey, i wrote the subtitles you knowwwww". i will have first-hand privilege of watching new movies before they hit the shelves. ok, perhaps i will not be able to brag about my job since it is associated with illegal copyright but translating is not criminal, is it? i just wrote the subtitles for some hard-hearing old man who couldn't understand the muffled speech, so sue me! ahhhhhhhhh! i can imagine the gratification on that one, the pleasure of finally reading words that match the conversation on the screen.

they should be so lucky to employ me.