Wednesday, March 19, 2008

my rant of the day

i don't get it.

i seem to be starting most posts with a statement, a singular sentence to make my point, and then go back to deliberate on it. my writing stance, my style, my flow, all different from a couple of months ago. i guess an individual's writing style reflects the person's mood. so, what does this say about my present mood? i have absolutely no idea. my psychoanalysis has only arrived thus far.

anyway, this isn't what i don't get. i don't get women drivers. bitchy women drivers. not all women drivers are bitchy. some, like moi, are pretty, cute, considerate, nice...we can be here all day with the adjectives. those that don't consider they fall into the bitchy category, don't be offended. if you think you are, please submit yourself for some mind-altering surgery because you need serious help.

explanation: every morning, the main road (well, not so main, but main in the estate) around here is very jammed. bumper to bumper, moving but slow. usually, my destination involves cutting across this road to go to the opposite direction. without fail, there will always be cars that refuse, absolutely refuse, to leave a small gap so that others from the road perpendicular to it can cut across. even when the traffic is not flowing, and they have no where else to go but crash into the bumper of the cars in front. their devils' horns will pop out and they will pretend to look right, left, up, down but flatly refuse to acknowledge your presence, step on the gas pedal to...what? join the queue in front faster? to not leave a microscopic gap so that even small ants can't squeeze past? let's deny ants the right to cross the street!! it's not like we, the perpendicular drivers, are trying to beat their queue or steal their spot. we are just passing through. this is the 'if i can't go anywhere, you can't go anywhere either' mentality. let's get stuck in this shit together, and u can stare daggers into my face for another 5 more minutes to see whether i have any open pores or horns sticking out of my head.

i understand those who are in a hurry and refuse to let others pass when the road ahead is clear and the traffic is moving fast. but hello? why are you in hurry to kiss the butt of the other car? i can't stand to be away from the smelly carbon monoxide the othe car is emitting even for one millisecond! i love my carbon monoxide! breathe! breathe! what do you think is going through their head when i glare at them, or raise hands and legs in reprimanding gestures to them? ooo, i want to stay and watch this woman dancing breakdance in her car. i'm not going to let her through. what is there to lose? definitely not time, not goodwill, not petrol, not anything i can think of. will they die if they let me through? hah! wimps!! you let a driver through!! take away ten points! grrrrrr, i steam in frustration, purely from the fact that i can't possibly understand their motives, and therefore can't emphasise with their lack of cranial grey matter.

and without fail, you will find that most of these inconsiderate drivers are women. why? why why tell me why? are women less magnanimous? are women more vengeful? i, for one, don't believe in it. look at me. i'm a fine specimen of the female species, at least i think so. women are carers of the next generation, for goodness sake. without empathy, without lovingness, without generosity, without caring, these next generation are doomed! we'll be having a whole new population of selfish car-butt-stickers.

how scary! argggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I thot I have put everything to rest. Why are you ranting again?

Anonymous said...

well..women drivers ay? I got nothing more to add!

Anonymous said...

i agree - can't understand for the life of me why it never occured to women to give way in a queue.

but i would have let you inch your way out, esp if you give me one of your killer smiles. heh heh!

happy driving amongst the motoring bitches!!

zewt said...

hahahahaha....women.... women....

dont drive la...

Anonymous said...

Go, get a helicopter, skip the rush hour and stop cursing.

me said...

dear ah pek: u change your english name to newton ah? or u just rise up from the dead again?? women rant mah. it's their prerogative.

dear wuchy: yes! unless one gets in your way again!! then we have plenty to say.

dear e: that's why. becos u r a man!! (at least i was under the impression u r a man). men are more generous, esp with killer-watts smiles. *grins* the woman sitting beside u in the car, however, will not be as understanding. careful that she doesn't pull your ear. hahaha.

dear zewt: if i don't like my nose, i cut it off meh? cannot like that mah.

dear seremban: that's my nickname for u, bcos that's the only thing i know abt u. i charter helicopter, u pay money, ok? hahahaha.

Cocka Doodle said...

Because you got bigger boobs than them and they are jealous about (t)it! LOL

Las montaƱas said...

because if I wait and give you space to inch in, behind will honk at me mah! simple logic!

So you know what to do right?

Don't cut in lidat.

Turn first and drive along the shoulder of the road as close to the longkang (without driving into it) and then inch your way back lo.

me said...

dear monty: honk honk lah. giving way to lenglui is an honour mah. shows you have class and is a gentleman :-)

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