Monday, June 21, 2010

conspiracy theory

how is it that my body knows something that my mind doesn't? it will appear that my stomach is in cohorts with the rest of my body and is not letting my brain in on the act. a pandemic conspiracy. collusion at the highest level.

i was debriefed that the mind is the controlling tower for the entire operation. however, apparently, the other body parts have seized control, are now working independently from the brain and will not accept any instruction. it's 3am in the morning, my eyes glaring at the ticking clock tells me. my brain acknowledges it and sends signals from the top of my head to the tip of my toe. hey guys, it's time to shut down for the night and recharge those batteries. no way, it's just 8pm in the evening. time to parrrty on. 8pm my foot. when has 8pm been so dead quiet that even the faint creaking of the overhead fan rumbles in the ear?

at 2pm, you told me that it was way past your bedtime, that wild horses couldn't keep you awake. hallo, it's 2pm in the afternoon. ask the time announcement phone service, ask the prime minister, heck, ask the king for all i care. it's 2pm malaysian time. even in london, it's.........normally i can answer that in the blink of an eye, but my sleep deprived brain can only provide an answer with the help of a calculator at this juncture..... 8pm in the evening. past what bedtime? which country did you just visit? timbuktu? normally i'll google the answer to that but my brain is too fuzzy to move my fingers. it's on auto-drive at the moment. my systems are all mixed up. at lunch, my stomach informs me that i'm not hungry. i ignore it and i eat, and i'm hungry again 2 hours later.

i feel a sense of detachment, floating over physical reality, as if a veil envelops the whole being and dulls the senses. jet lag gets more difficult as you get older. the brain adapts but apparently, the body doesn't. i used to think that if i stay awake as long as daylight beams and get my 8 hour rest when it's dark, i will have the jet lag thing beat. brain over body. right now, ms. body is screaming rebellion and refuses to entertain my theory. i've been craving for my bed since 8am this morning. i don't think i can make it. i'm halfway crawling to my bed as i speak.

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