some days i'm facing so much negativity that i find it a struggle to breathe. normal, simple things, met with disapproving clickings of the tongue. imaginative ideas to break free, showered with the cold water of cynicism. everything that possibly could going wrong. growing up, i never realised that i was an optimistic person. i was always apprehensive, afraid of loss and unfamiliar surroundings. perhaps with resistance, the will to persevere grows stronger. the resolution to stay hopeful shines brighter.
but even the little engine that thought he could has his off days. and when the wave of melancholy hits, i sink into my quicksand of depression, pulling and sucking me down into the dark abyss of despondency. i just want to hide in my bed and pull the blanket over my head. i want to pull the curtains and hide from the world. i cannot see tomorrow. i cannot imagine tomorrow. the cold dark sleep doesn't seem so scary anymore.
i wait. until it pass.
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