mind decaying part of life

oh my god. i'm going out of my mind with boredom. i have just completed the two biggest projects of my life and am suffering from post-project mind-decaying tedium. bringing up my two children have been the biggest accomplishment of my life and now that they are both in Uni and i have my life back, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, i have no direction and no goals. true, one never stops being a mother no matter how old your children are, but at a certain stage you have to let go of the apron strings and let them fend for themselves a little bit, and not hover around like an air-borne drone. the span of 20 years passed in the blink of an eye, when you look back retrospectively of course. and i am proud my children grew up alright, but along the way i have forgotten many things. i have forgotten how to eat slowly and chew my meals well. i have forgotten what i like and dislike. i have forgotten to stay hydrated regularly. i have forgotten how to put myself first and i have forgotten to look after myself. i have no goals that i want to strive towards, nothing that i specifically want to do, or see, or eat. everything have always played a second fiddle to the needs and wants of others. perhaps i have always been so decision-less. i now have too much time on my hands, which i will unhealthily spend working for lack of a better distraction. i spends my days doing a little of this, a little of that, and when i look back, i have not done anything worthwhile.

at 48 i have to start questioning myself once again; what do i want, what do i like. but i really can't think of anything. maybe it's just a bad day. maybe it's just hormones wrecking my mind.