overheard outside an old folks' home.....
"grannyyyyyy, are you going back home to celebrate the new year ?! you have been wishing for that for the longest time! your dream finally came true! you must be so happy!"
grinning from ear to ear, the old lady could only nod her head in happiness.
a brief wave of sadness swept passed me. i looked from the nurse, to the old woman, to her son who was pushing her wheelchair. they are all victims of circumstances.
in an island too small, too tight to squeeze in all its occupants, taking care of your elderly is not an option. being filial allows you so much as to only bring them home for the holiday season ............. that is the best case scenario.
the grandchildren do not have an opportunity to know their grandparents. sons and daughters do not have the luxury of tapping into their wise-old knowledge. families cannot revel in the warmth of generations under the same roof.
adults send their parents to the old folks' home, not out of choice, but out of necessity. in turn, they plead for their children to understand and not reciprocate the action. will they, when the perfect example is already being played out in front of them?
i don't know which is more cruel, not taking her home for the family reunion, or bringing her back after the holidays. how many more of these separations can she take every year?
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8 comments:
quite sobering, yet very true on what you wrote... *sigh* I hope they have a good new year ahead, no matter where they are, or who they're with.
Gung Hei Fatt Choy to you!
Sometimes it's necessary for old folks to be there especially those that require medical attention or nursing aids.
Happy New Year to you and your loved ones, Lenglui!
hmm which little island is this!!??? smells vaguely familiar.
aha! so ME is sneaking up on me huh?
Happy "ju nin!!". oink!
One day I will grow old too..if i am given a magic wishes how my laters year story would be..I'm sure I want all my children and grand children around me..is my wishes selfish ma??
Today is 1st day CNY, I just back from the old folks home, every year I make a point visit the old folks reason I miss my late mum and grandmum.
Would like to wish Leng Lui
"GONG XI FA CHA"
Nobody I know has been in an old folk's home yet but I've visited one before and it's not a place I would want anyone to be, not even myself. It feels more like reducing human beings to pets. When you can't take care of them, you discard them.
Necessity? Never, I hope.
Happy Chinese New Year!
dear may: kung hei fatt choy to you too. hope u hv a wonderful boar year.
dear cocka: those are medical nursing homes and i guess that's another matter. regardless, both circumstances rise because of necessity, not choice and perhaps that is the saddest part of it. or maybe the necessity is the excuse and not the reason, i don't know. i'm just a bystander.
dear monty: not the one that u r thinking of....a little further. i don't know if it's also the custom in that little red dot of yrs but i had the impression that their olds stay with them.
happy oink oink to u too.
dear 9393: haha. a comment from u, 'siu yau wohhhhhh'. i think that's the one and only wish every old people want....but you'll be amazed at how difficult it is to achieve. when you're old, suddenly u're no longer adorable, everything u say will be naggy, everything u do will be wrong. :-(
yr mum & grandmum will always be with u - in yr heart.
dear jonzz: i guess it's not a hip and happening place to be, what with the smell of stinky urine and medicated oil. when an old people go there, they are reduced from being someone's mother, someone's grandparent to a number on the chart, a patient without history. that's the sad part, i guess. the feeling of being abandoned by your family, as much as it is necessary.
Taking care of our elderly loved ones have been a topic some are finally addressing. We've cured some awful illnesses, we've come up with transplants and medicines to prolong life. However, we are now being asked about the "Quality" of life we feel we're allowing in both the parents AND the children who choose to take care of them at home. Those who choose to take care of their parents must do so full-time, and need to forego their own quality of family and life to be 'nurse'.
When my father was required to rely on an oxygen tank 24/7 and could not be left alone, my mother was a literally a prisoner. She could not leave the house to leave him alone. I wondered what kind of life my mother would live doing this everyday and for Dad to be prisoner to an oxygen tank.
Knowing first hand what it's like to take care of a needy parent, I would not wish to burden my own children.
dear annie: i totally understand the predicament yr mother was in, n i honestly wish i'll never be in a situation where i have to choose between my own life or theirs.
the alternative over in yr end may be more desirable. here, the option is not as sterile or friendly. u get the feeling when u check in that u r just being left there to count the final days to yr life. u will actually look forward to death. at 8.18 in the morning, i don't think i'm too crazy about this topic. *yawn*
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