.......i've always known housewives were an admirable lot...i just never realise how much. it's not how much they have to handle. it's not how well they juggle their loads. it's how they manage to stay contented when they are giving up so much. it's how they sacrifice their life in fulfilment of others.
for the last 2 weeks, my days and nights rotated around preparation of meals, keeping my in-laws company, buying groceries, attending to the needs of the children and catching up on work whenever i have a small sliver of time available. the juggling is tough...but perhaps the toughest is putting my own life on hold. i ceased to exist. i mechanically go about the tasks that need to be done, to be the best that i can be. what i like, what i want to do, what i am ...cease to matter.
throughout the day, after barely finishing one meal, i have to go about the preparations for the next. on days when i have to re-stock the grocery, the schedule for the day is even more intense. forget about sitting down quietly with a cup of tea in hand for a while, i seldom have time to let my thoughts run its course, like now...... i'm too tired to even structure a proper thought.
yet, it's not the load that's tiring. it's how your life is put on hold to satisfy the needs of others. it doesn't matter what you want to be doing, it doesn't matter what you like to eat, it doesn't matter what you think or how you feel....i shudder to think of how i will feel if i had to live with my in-laws permanently. will i cease to exist?.......or my soul, at the very least. the very essence of me.
if you think of it, that's exactly what the mothers of our generation did, day in day out. they were there when we wake up, preparing for our meals. they were there when we come back from school. they were in the kitchen whilst we watched cartoons. after dinner, yet again you'll find them in the kitchen, while we are unwinding infront of the tv. everyday......24/7, without a holiday in between. how they can be content with giving up their dreams, their life in order to attend to our needs, i will never be able to understand. perhaps they didn't have any choice ....perhaps there isn't as much distraction / entertainment......perhaps they didn't have to juggle work and caring for the family, like i have to now......
my situation is only temporary. my sacrifice is only for the time being. i will have reprieve soon. how did our mothers do it for their entire life? how can someone be contented not to live, not to dream?
how can another being sacrifice their life, their existence for another? people who die for another is considered to be heroic. how about people who 'do not live' for others? the dreams they sacrificed...the joy and magical journey that they could have explored...the beauty that they could have seen.....the fulfilment that they could have enjoyed....
all i know is mothers are the greatest gift from god (if you believe in god, that is)
11 comments:
Gosh! You ARE that perfect wife I've been looking for!
*getting down on knees* ...Lenglui, will you marry me? LOL
dear cocka: *peering to see diamond ring how many carats* ......*kicks cocka's backside* oiiiii! u married with one daughter oredi, somemore wan to play play ah har???!!!
i have been doing a lot of house chores lately... i have no idea how my mom did it. and more amazingly, she did it with joy... and she NEVER complain!!!
2 weeks and you're already screaming huh...
dear zewt: i knoww...how can someone actually get joy from doing housework..i just can't understand..they are really admirable, mothers..
not screaming at the work load..because there is an end in sight..but just shuddering at the thought of how other mothers do it on a long term basis.
of course there is no end to housework! how can it ever end? I mean, how can the joy (of doing housework) ever be diminished?!!
Thank you ME for describing my life. Nobody understands, especially the husband. I know what it's like to work full time like he does; but at least, when he comes home, he relaxes, watches TV and sleeps.
I volunteered to do a extra project at work and they will pay me to come in. Haven't had time to come in!!! Nobody to babysit the kids. I have a field trip for one, two birthday parties for the other, grocery shopping, meal preps, laundry, house cleaning and entertaining the kids 24/7. My husband says, "what's so hard?". Dork. When he's home alone with the kids, he just ignores them. He forgets to feed the kids, to bathe them, to supervise them. I come home and ask "Where are the kids?" he says, "I don't know." *eyeroll*.
It's the most unappreciated jobs in existence... and we don't get paid so we can't even go shopping for ourselves.
dear monty: u like housework? *raise eyebrow* u sureeee? when's the last time u swept the floor, clean the toilet and washed yr clothes?
dear annie: i know EXACTLY what u mean..guys are all like that. i don't know why and how we get ourself into stupid situations like this *eyeroll* some stupid sweet words and we get hooked into an eternity of servitude...dumb deal. they say 'sureeee', they'll take over the kids...but then u see them watching the tv and the kids doing their own things..sighhh!
Ah, mums. Not an easy job and taken for granted.
My mum was working and she also did everything else in the house. But my dad was no slacker either. Each played their roles.
I guess that's the best way.
ive always thought that housewives are a poor lot coz they are cooped up at home with no freedom everyday and they still had to do everything for the family. sometimes i wonder why my mum has to clean the floor every other day while I leave the house un-vacuumed for months and I do my laundry only once a week/every two weeks. i think i would not be ready for kids if I have to work so hard to keep the home in check coz that would be scary, especially if I have to work too. annie, i dunno how you do it but you did. salute to all the housewives, working or not working alike!!!
well, maybe when you're a mother... then you'll know...
so when are you going to pop one out?
dear jonzz: yes, definitely. when the man pulls his own weight, the woman doesn't feel victimised. kaka.
dear serene: hey, you're way too young..enjoy your life first. goodness, now i sound like your mother. u'll understand when u r ready....and then u'll also mop and do the laundry everyday. kakakaka. can u imagine soiled diapers left for a week?!! worms! *grins*
dear mr blurcase: sigh! i don't know whether to say that you are so blur, that you haven't been following my blog long enough or you don't see when you read....i AM already a mother..of two, a 8 and a 6. enough popping don't you think?
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