remembering gramps

fulfilled my filial duty over the weekend, together with throngs and throngs of other people who were stuck in the jam for hours. what was simply a two hours to and fro journey lasted 6 hours, all because last sunday was the best worst day for cheng ming, according to the fengshui masters or whoever. sorry, i'm no expert; i'm just in charge of sitting in the car and eating.

it has been quite a while since i have thought about gramps. grandpa stayed with me as i was growing up and so, he was always around in the shadows. he was a very quiet and dignified man, sitting around the dining table with his pipe or cigarette and his pot of chinese tea. he was not very keen on talking and on one occasion, has even told a close friend not to ask him questions on and on because he was tired of speaking. *grins* that's my gramps for you. as such, i have never heard about the stories of how he migrated from china, his early struggles and the glories of his life or how he married grandma. all i know of grandpa was what i witnessed as i was growing up, which was basically him sitting around the dining table. however, he was a very generous man, to everyone. after his passing, they gave me his heavy ceramic coin-box, perhaps because he was always trying to give it to me when he was still alive. it is filled to the brim and that slightly cracked santa is still staring back at me now. i have no intention of ever breaking it open to find out how much is inside. perhaps there are loads of $1 coins which are obsolete and thus redundant by now, but all that matter is the warm feeling i get whenever i look at the old santa coin box.

after he passed away, i dreamt of him only once. i remembered feeling angry because he didn't come more often in my dreams. what stayed for a longer time was the crazy fear of phone ringing in the middle of the night, for that was when he passed away.

my grandmother was the flip of the coin. she stayed very briefly with me and my memories of her were mostly in my uncles' and aunty's houses. she was more talkative than grandpa but miles more stricter..and fierce. well, maybe not so to her grandchildren.

my aunt was recently recollecting to me how grandma will scold and punish all her children if she so much as find rambutan skin in the bin when she was growing up. they didn't have any rambutan tree and were barely making ends meet. therefore, when the neighbour's beautiful and oh so tempting rambutan tree overgrow past the fence and into their yard, it was immensely cruel to be denied plucking them. grandma had a very strict code of conduct, aimed at teaching her children to grow up and be good responsible adults. with 10 children, i guess the only way to make sure they don't walk down the wrong path is to be strict.

my gramps.

i'm really glad i had a chance to know them before they passed on. my life is richer for all the parts they played in it.