twisted

i am me's lo (man). you can call me milo (me-lo).

what is this?

i hate writing, as opposed to my wife, but she is sitting there, staring at me with her arms crossed and face as black as charcoal. said i have to write about 5 things she pisses me off with and 5 things she did that conned me into marrying her. i'm telling you, this will be among the 1st thing on the list that is pissing me right now.......

something about king's wife tagging her......i have no idea how Seri Paduka Baginda Raja Permaisuri Agong comes into the picture or that she even knows her. still, if it's an order from her royal majesty, i better comply. counting her faults ahhhhh....*rubbing hands with glee*...this is every husband's dream....telling what pisses me off and living to see the light of day. fire away!

1. you see this little lady yakking away here? don't think that she is talkative and long-winded, once she is angry, she clams her mouth shut. screwdriver also cannot pry that damn thing open. i will rather she throw some pots or plates (but don't scratch my precious cd collection lah) and just release some of those tension....but no, this one gives cold treatment....like hell freezes over like that. sighhhhh!

2. don't know what she has to blog......so many things to write night and day. if got something to say, don't directly come to my face and say it.....must go to her blog and read about it. read already nevermind, still cannot discuss her blog with her.....something about it affecting the things she write.....sometimes i wonder why i marry this crazy woman lah. sometimes talk to her also worry she will post it in her blog. i wonder if all bloggers' spouses got this fear or not?

3. she says she likes to label things and compartmentalise things....yah! into small piles of rubbish heap everywhere. sigh! a pile of books here, a collection of papers there....she doesn't comprehend the idea of putting things back where it belongs. if she takes off her jeans, you can literally see the jeans 'stand' there for days. and things will stay there until she finds the time to pay attention to it again. lucky thing i don't keep my clothes in the same place with hers...i won't be able to even go through the door.

4. this woman is very lazy. if i don't nag at her, she won't do any exercise. everyday sit on the butt, like trying to grow that thing that is sticking behind her like that. if i don't go for yoga, you can bet she won't be going. you can almost see the look of relief on her face on days that i choose to skip classes. where got woman so lazy one?

5. this aunty 36 years old already, everyday still want to wear sexy sexy. shirt also don't want to button all the way to the top. don't know want to show to who leh? think she still hot sexy kitten, want to show here and there. everytime must remind her 'very cold lah, bring extra sweater'. like that also cannot get my hint. sheesh!


why did i marry her? she's first class con-woman lah.

1. where did that sweet, domesticated gentle lady go? she talked also 'ter seng ter hei'. i think they switched her on the wedding day. they alternated her with a screaming mother and a tired old lady. *peering at marriage certificate* no money back guarantee meh, this thing?

2. she wooed me with all those chicken curry she cooked. you know lah, i'm from hong kong. where got eat chicken curry before. so spicy until i cannot see straight also. that's why my vision blurred.

3. last time she borrowed instant noodles from me, also she insisted on giving back. so touching like that. how am i to know now kena conned into buying flowers and presents for her for every festivity. you know one year got how many occasions or not? headache lah. mother's day just passed....now must start thinking of her birthday!!

4. when dating, she was so attentive. travelling also pack the bags for me. everything i come first. now, i think i am no. 3 on the list.............. if i am lucky. want to talk also must wait until the kids finish their turn. wait until my neck long also cannot get a word in. somemore call me king of the castle........ more like servant of the abode!

5. i fell for the biggest con of the century and it all started with a measly box of egg roll!

*losing the gruffy voice, transformed back to leng-leng me*