lifeline

"tell me a joke", she texted.

there was no reply. only deafening silence.

5 hours later came the reply, "are you alright?" as if he knew that something was not quite right.

those 3 words in itself was a balm to the pain, a lifeline to her that was drowning. she doesn't know how much longer she can hang on to her sanity. it gets harder and harder each time to return to status quo.

"better. don't need the joke anymore". who knows that retail therapy really does work, eventhough this time it was more out of necessity rather than indulgence. still something to take the mind out of it is always good, if only for a while. "then again, wouldn't mind having something to laugh about. tell me your best joke when you have the time".

"want to talk about it?"

"nah. just climbed out, don't really want to jump back in".

"whenever you need a shoulder just let me know. though it's going to be a little hard cos i'm in europe now".

"will need a very long neck then. lol. must be feeling better, i'm making my own jokes".

some things you just want to remember. from now until eternity. simply because it's moments like these that make you feel that there is still warmth on earth. was it an automated response to a drowning soul? was it a superficial reply or a sincere concern, the harsh practical voice can't help but nag in a whisper. she can no longer tell which is which. it shouldn't matter, she scolds back angrily. why are you making yourself miserable? take it as it is. the warm voice of a warm friend. it is what you need. in life you see what you want to see, what you need to see.