looking for mr right

candidate # 1: agreed to commence work but texted at the eleventh hour to say he needs to postpone a few days as sopmeone in the family passed away and he needs to return home. before d-day number 2, he texted to say he can't come back because his wife has the car and he will come back by bus. on d-day number 3, he said he couldn't buy the bus ticket and need another day. on d-day number 4, he called the office, thinking it was another job vacancy in another company, and wanted to apply for the job. suffice to say, that was the end of him. you can glean my amazing patience from those episodes. like i naive fool i believed each excuse, until he called up again. *knocks head on wall to try knock some sense (or wisdom) in this thick skull*

candidate # 2: can't drive. as a driver, that is quite a funny trait to possess. he will run over bumps at high speed with no intention of slowing down, brake at traffic lights and behind stationery cars at a screeching halt even though the light turned red eons ago, veers to the left on highways, returns to the center, and then veers to the left again...constantly. not fast and furious material, and i'm not referring to the biceps or looks department. he was not fired but chose to disappear one day when he realise he can't cope, absconding with the smart tag and touch n go card. sigh.

candidate # 3: ahhhh, our dear candidate # 3 who has worked the longest. • he left the little master stranded on the sidewalk whilst he pretended to be in the toilet, car and person missing in action. the nearest toilet was within view and walking distance but obviously the car was not parked there. • one day when madam called for him, he took one hour to travel the 15 minutes journey. when queried, he said he was involved in a car accident. funny how he and his motorcycle were unharmed. mr snitch said he was lepak-ing and chatting with friends even after he received the call. shaking legs to complete his daily exercise routine, i assume •part of his duty entail taking care of the car. one fine day he submitted a bill for a car wash claim. no time to wash the car, was his story O.o gives me an idea. think the boss will accept my claim to hire a substitute to perform my job while i go for some coffee sips. wait! what IS my job anyway? potential ca-le-fare materials are hard to find :p • when called to send some documents, he took one hour to turn up. apparently, he had went to the neighbouring state for lunch. point was, lunch time came and went dinosaur hours ago. • he has not been confirmed as full time employee but has been nagging for a motorcycle of his own. when an old one has been found temporarily for him, one that was supposed to be sold soon, he insists on sending it to the workshop for repair. three times. change tyre, change black oil, change lamp, change brake. what is the logic in repairing everything with new when you are going to sell it? O.o •

when he sent madam out one day, he wanted to leave upon dropping her off. to refill petrol, he said. when queried why it was so urgent to refill petrol he said he was worried madam will travel very far (eventhough madam has never on any ocassion done that with him driving) it was pointed out that he refills petrol everyday or every other day, why would his petrol even fall so low? he was too flabbergasted to come up with any reply. he was given the instruction to standby at the house after madam returned home as an urgent document was to be sent. obviously he was practising the highly acclaimed ninja art of disappearing. when queried about his evaporation into thin air.......................what do you think he would have said? can you come up with an excuse as good as he did? i seriously doubt so, this dude is professional, man! i tell you, if there was an oscar for excuses, he would take the golden statue! so anyway, back to his reply. he said he was confused with the instruction. as excuses go, this guy deserves a medal.

• he was given specific instruction not to purchase anything besides petrol with the petrol card. so he used the petrol card of another driver to buy some cigarettes for himself.  ingenuity :D • after sending little missie to school, he was suppose to come back and take madam out one day. he arrived one and a half hour later than another who went the same route. tun razak was jammed, he professed. why did you use tun razak? no, no, i used duke highway. i stopped for breakfast. you took the time to stop and eat breakfast? no, no, i bought a bread on the run. i refilled the petrol. sigh. notice any inconsistency? after a few more hits and misses, candidate # 3 left, knowing there was no way under the freaking moon that he will be confirmed as full time staff in this lifetime.

candidate # 4: ok, ok tomorrow i come to work. ok, ok, i know where and what time, went candidate number 4.

he didn't turn up. end of story. short but not very sweet.

                                                                  

i know that finding mr right is an impossible task and many women are disillusioned with the task but i am not looking for price charming nor am i looking for another half to spend the rest of my life with. nerd, geek, young old, tall, short, thin, fat, handsome, ugly, i am open to suggestions. i am just merely looking for a responsible employee who carry out his job conscientiously. apparently that is a fairy tale myth too, along with pumpkin carriages and happily ever after.