the list of things i can't do

i can't sneeze with my mouth/nose closed. this is right up there in the list. no. 1 priority. will my eyeball fly out with the pressure? *faint* i don't intend to find out.

i can't jog, run or jump. i think it's because the implant isn't affixed to the site of the fracture, so any large vertical movement may dislodge it. it's like walking on egg shell, until the doc later told me that only a hit in the eye will dislodge it. phew!

i can't get hit in the eye. self explanatory. duh.

i can't wash my face. well, technically, i can't splash water on my face. i can clean it with a towel though, otherwise i'm going to look like santa who came down the chimney. waitaminit, why is his face never sooty and black?

i can't wash my hair. again same rationale as washing my face. i can't have soap run down my face and into my eye. so i engage contortionist mode and hang my head back in the shower when i wash my hair. which can be really tiring because i have long hair. it takes forever. i think i'm also training my neck muscle somewhere along the process. next i can join the olympics and lift weights using my neck.

i can't bend down. hmmmm, this i'm not so sure but i have tried various alternative to bending down and it didn't seem to do any damage. during the initial post-surgery stage, the build-up pressure in the eyeball was pretty high so i guess i shouldn't bend my head down and increase that pressure. i have since learn to adapt and can do wondrous things with my leg and toes. with all these new skills perhaps i should think of enlisting in a circus.

i can't cook or do household chores. ha! sounds like i had to bribe the nurse to say that. *crooning smoke gets in your eyessssssss........*

i can't carry heavy stuff. this is what i find the most frustrating of all. firstly how heavy is heavy? when i feel the strain on my eyeball and the incision maybe. but i don't have a bodyguard mirroring my every movement 24-7. i need to go grocery shopping. i'm forever transporting stuff between my place and my mum's. sigh. i feel so helpless and it drives me insane.

i can't drink in one big gulp. i tried. the pressure builds up in the eyeball and i nearly choke with surprise. why would anybody want to drink in such a hurry anyway?? hallo, do you not know me? i do everything in a hurry. i need 200 hours in a day.

i can't scratch my eye. arggghhhhhh. this is frustrating no. 2. because the incision is healing, it gets itchy. so i scratch the person next to me. hahaha. can u imagine having an itch and not being able to scratch it? one of top torture methods that concentration camps employ i am sure.

i can't carry children. this the doctor specifically reminded me several times. until he found out mine are 15 and 13. chehhhhhh! what?! you don't carry your 15 and 13 year olds? i probably should tell them that.

i can't drive. sigh. another frustrating thing. i can hear the prison door slam and the sound of the key being thrown away. release meeeeee, let me goooooooo. i want my freedom. i need my freedom. simple things that we sometimes take for granted. well, the doctor didn't actually say that i can't but with my double vision, i'm not so sure i won't kill somebody.

i can't play sports. ha. my family thought i will be happy with that knowing that i have a set of lazy bones. but when you are told you can't do something, you want to do it. it's not so much that you actually want to go out and throw some hoops, but you want to have the choice to be able to do so if you feel like it. and i don't actually dislike sports, i just need a lot of cajoling and persuading. i actually don't mind it, if someone can pry me off the couch.

so, patience. one day i am going to be able to do all these again and i will once again take them for granted.