eye am truly blessed

it's monday and i finally found an oculoplastic surgeon across the causeway. four actually, a whole department, all seemingly trained in surgery for orbital trauma. wow! jackpot. ya, remember the way my life goes? no. 1 was on leave the whole week and the earliest appointment available, even for emergencies, is on thursday afternoon. which means surgery could be friday or the next week at the earliest. it has been one week since the injury and the clock is ticking against a complete recovery as time passes. no. 2 was also on leave until the next week and earliest appointment was next monday. no. 3 was.....yes, you guessed it, away and won't be coming in until friday. no. 4 only handles vvip. errrr, i hate to point this out, but how does the oculoplastic department run without any oculoplastic doctor available? what are the chances all of them are not around? considering what happened i believe that sounds just about right. but it's an emergency case, i pleaded. it's the best they can do, they said. they are not interested in listening.

even though the national eye centre was my best bet, they didn't have any doctor available. i was desperate and called around the other hospitals. the most famous one wanted me to call their ophthalmologists one by one to see which of them deal with blow out fracture. you would have thought they know their doctors but apparently they do not have that kind of service nor do they know that information. sounds more like a doctor supermarket to me. you pick what you like and pay; the hospital just provides the venue. after looking through all the biodata, i came up with a big fat turkey egg. zilch. as usual, retina surgery, lasik, plastic surgery, the lucrative business of cosmetic surgery and retina detachment. no one hardly gets hit in the eye. i wonder why. my hubs wonder what happens to all the boxers in the boxing arena. i tell him that they don't get punch in the eye at 60kmh. people duck or turn their faces most of the time, i am guessing. me, i never saw the ball coming.

so i called another equally famous hospital. they asked me to email my ct report and will get back to me with a suitable doctor. bearing in mind that they did not have an oculoplastic department but still i was soooo desperate. that eye-patch with the skull picture is looking more real as time pass. i called a few other numbers, which in the end i didn't know which was for what. none of them had the doctor specialised for the skill. i recalled doctor no. 4 and i was suddenly pissed off that she only handled vvip. did i hear that wrong? i called them again. this time apparently it was the branch of the national eye centre at hospital no. 2. nope, hospital no. 2 didn't think to recommend me to that eye centre annexe that was sitting very prettily in their hospital ground. a very sweet lady answered my call and listened to my pleading. she passed me on to her supervisor who tried to tell me that all their consultants are very experienced and that i should just go down for an appointment. i have no doubt they are but mine is a very special case and only a handful of surgeons are experienced in performing the surgery. i need an oculoplastic surgeon i told her. she passed me on to her manager, who upon hearing the word 'blow out fracture' said that i definitely need an oculoplastic doctor. hell yeah! i felt like shouting hallelujah at that point. break out into a dance step with some dancing on my table. finally someone who understood and spoke the lingo. i could have reached through the phone line and kissed her if i could, but well i'm not that limber. i told her i know but all your oculoplastic surgeons are away. she agreed to call their secretaries to see if any of them can come back just to see me.

this lady is an angel, i tell you. one simple gesture that makes all the difference in a person's life. not even that difficult, not even that demanding but not one single other person bothered to do that little bit extra. not the hostile angry receptionist. not the dense one that started work not long ago. not the indifferent one who looked at the computer screen, saw that no doctors were available and just read what it wrote. not the nice one who tried to help but wasn't trained on where to look. not the bored one who just wanted the clock to strike 5 times and go home. we are all of them sometimes. we do what is expected of us and nothing more. we don't ask more, we don't try more, we don't touch more. simply because it is just easier. i should remember this. i should remember the lesson this lady taught me. i don't want to live my life like the others, not bothering, not trying, not touching, not making a difference.

so, to end the story, the doctor came back to see me after hearing of the nature of my injury. he agreed to perform the surgery the next day. i went through my first GA, my first hospital stay (aside for births), my first serious injury, my first surgery, my first implant and my first overnight stay in the hospital alone. i know this sounds really weird but the hospital bed was the most luxurious and comfortable bed i have ever slept in, even more so than 6 star hotel rooms and palatial residences. it's probably the GA talking. nothing like a little GA to really knock you out.

he has since performed the surgery and everything is on the road to recovery. i have to go back for check-ups. the numbness in the cheek, lip and teeth will fade with time, and the double vision, which seems to have worsen for the moment, will also eventually improve. i just have to avoid being hit in the eye for a few months, or hitting myself in the eye, which i seem to be doing a lot of post-surgery. i guess i am still traumatised on a deeper subconscious level. i am dreaming of insects zeroing in on my eye. also poking my eye in my sleep but as i have to wear a plastic eye guard at night, it's not too bad.

so, i survived all these new firsts. funny thing is i never once felt that i was unlucky to be hit by a ball or lament my lamentable luck. if anything i feel blessed. i am blessed that the ball hit me and not any of my loved ones. my pain i can take. their pain will rip my heart out. i am blessed that i have so many people around me who sincerely cares about me. my son was a little detached, cool and aloof perhaps, but maybe, i am hoping, he just has trouble expressing what is inside his heart. i like to believe he loves his mum just as much. i am blessed that i am able to find the best doctor and afford the medical attention. i am blessed that my eye didn't rupture and i still can see, double-vision or not. i am blessed that everything is behind me now.

even eye have enough of my eye-puns. groannnnnn!