do you believe in a miracle?

apparently i've asked that same question five years ago, for the same person, in the same situation.

the answer remains the same. i never did. very long ago, i've given up on supernatural events happening, once-in-a-lifetime marvels, just because you want it to so badly. bad things happen to good people, so deal with it. that's life and my black-tinted glasses view on it.

yesterday, someone fed me a little piece of hope. something i will never dare to conceive on my own. i could feel the wings of expectation flutter a little in my stomach. not enough to break through my thick walls of cynicism. could it be more wishful thinking on the part of the bearer of news? but yet i saw with my very own eyes the smile that greeted me, the eyes that turned slowly in my direction. was that for real or conjured up by more wishful thinking on my part.

i remembered tears falling a very long time ago, which i had to ultimately resign to involuntary body functions. too much time has passed. i had given up and accepted the fact. now someone is telling me that it's alright to hope for it again. the smile of a friend. the warmth of her sound. do i dare to even imagine? the echoes in my brain answer 'only in your dreams' ..........but i want to hope. i want to believe. i want to wait.

give me the strength to believe once again.