i tried to take today morning off. 4 hours. just 4 freaking hours but my hand-phone have been ringing non-stop, and with each ring bringing me nothing but more frowns. i don't remember exactly when it started but i have this deep-seated desire boiling inside of me to hire a professional killer and 'erase' my handphone's existence from the face of the earth. i remember the days when nobody carried hand-phone and i said things like, 'i seldom switch it on'. ha! now i NEVER switch it off! the last time i chose not to bring it around with me, i was reprimanded by the man who gave birth to me and called 'irresponsible'. sigh. we even use the handphone to call someone who is inside the room, behind closed doors, just a couple of feet away. such is the ludicrious way our lives have become. we are the modern slaves, not of our companies and its relentless working hours, but of our so-technologically advanced, so-sleek and efficient mobile phone. who cares if it's iphone 4s or nokia n-whatever, it's still basically a ball and chain.

back to slacking off. it has been so long, too long, since the last time i slack off work. it's too easy to just go to wherever i work and spend the whole day just sitting behind the desk. work is endless. i don't need to see anybody, i don't need to talk to anybody. life is simple. the only thing i have to do is put out fires and tackle the huge pile of endless paperwork infront of me.

i stole 2 hours yesterday. i was doing nothing much, but there was this sense of liberation, of loosening the shackles around me and lightening the load on my shoulders. not of peace of mind or tranquility because there was still that nagging feeling of guilt that i should still be sitting on that chair, behind that desk, rather than doing nothing productive. but it is because i was doing nothing productive that it felt so good. i can't creep back to my work table because it is not here. i can't do anything but nothing. if it had just finished raining, and i was sipping my coffee at my local coffee bean, then it would have been perfect.

this year's resolution. i need to find more time to slack off. i think i said that last year but i can probably count the number of times i did on one hand. heck, on half a hand even.